COMMENTS:
Dreams In Amber Refrains
Dreams In Amber Refrains was posted simultaneously at The Tessarae Inn and on the Blair Firsters Board between May 29-July 31, 2002. Dreams still can be read at the Blair Firsters Board in a folder labeled Consequences In Blue Notes as well as at The Tessarae Inn. When the rumors started that Roger Howarth was leaving his role as Todd Manning in the spring of 2002 my first response to the news was to write a scenario for his return, Poseidon Rising. That helped and was a lot of fun to boot, but at the time I wrote that story I never anticipated the depth to which the T&B storyline would sink on OLTL as Todd and Blair were banished to separate corners of the world and thrown into the orbit of manipulative, self serving troll twins, Tea in Todd's case and Sam in Blair's case. The level of destruction to the characters of both Todd and Blair has been almost unimaginable. I gave up on OLTL after it became too painful to watch what amounted to character assassination in my opinion for one second longer. I tried to cope with my frustration by turning once again to fan fiction. The result was Dreams In Amber Refrains, which was without a doubt the most difficult story for me to write because of the tension caused by the contrast between my version of T&B and the way GT chose to present T&B on the screen. I felt as if I was in hand-to-hand combat with GT's vision the whole time I was writing Dreams In Amber Refrains and unfortunately that strain may have found its way into the story. In any case, I think a lot of T&B fans are disappointed with OLTL at the moment and have stepped away from the show and even from fan fiction. For this reason I am especially appreciative of the posters who read Dreams and let me know what they were thinking. I wanted to preserve the comments so I have archived them on this page.
Please note that the comments reveal plot twists and story elements, so if you have not read Dreams In Amber Refrains and would rather not know what happens, it might be best to wait to view this page until after you’ve finished the story. On the other hand, the comments are arranged so that they are labeled by the chapters that the poster just finished reading. If you are in the course of reading Dreams In Amber Refrains and want to see what, if anything, other posters said about a particular chapter, you can look for the comments associated with that chapter number.
If you would like to make a comment about Dreams In Amber Refrains, leave your message at the Key West Screened Porch in Tessarae Inn Annex. I will periodically update this page with new comments as they become available. –Tessarae87 8.31.02
CHAPTER 1
Tessarae87 5.29.02
Dreams
In Amber Refrains Chapter 1
OKAY, I’ve finally
started the sequel to Regrets In Jade Tones. It’s called Dreams In Amber
Refrains and centers around how the past can shape the present. The story opens
a few weeks after Regrets ended. I’m just starting this one so it will take a
while for me to post the entire story. As always, I hope you enjoy
it—Tessarae87
Dandesun 5/29/02
DAMN.
Nothing like tossing
Rebecca into the mix to make things interesting, huh? If I didn't already love
reading your stuff, Tess, this certainly would have pulled me in despite it.
Line of the Chapter: It had taken Jack months and months to get interesting
HA!! That's Starr for you. ;D Love it.
Blair and Rebecca never really met did they? Hmm....
Ladydayn
5.30.02 Ohhh Rebecca!
My fave line was
"I do have good ideas and stuff".
*Big Goopy Sigh*
I love your stuff. BTW, have I pimped out the Norah Jones CD to you yet? I think
you'd like her.
Blainca 5.30.02
ooooooooo!
Most interesting! oh
and, OMG! I know you love thoses!
I suppose I should tell you my fav lines
"With in reason" "Exactly"
and Tess there ain't no pimping like LD pimping Norah Jones...sweeeet!
Tessarae 6.1.02
Thanks
Dande, Ladyday & Blainca!
I’m glad you like it so far. As always I really appreciate your feedback. This
one was a hard one to start because watching T&B right now is depressing the
hell out of me and I wanted this story to start with them in such a good place.
But we’re off and moving now and we know nothing is ever easy for T&B,
even in my little corner of the world.
And I LOVE Norah Jones, Ladyday & Blainca! And you are so right, blainca,
there’s nothing like Ladyday pimping! Anyway, do you remember that thread I
started weeks and weeks ago about music we were all listening to and everyone
talked about what they liked and so on (that’s when you and Mel recommended
Alison Krauss to me, Ladyday)? Anyway the reason I started the thread was
because I had just gotten the Norah Jones CD and loved it. I called it Country
Jazz. In fact, I made a slideshow about T&B’s first wedding to “Come
Away With Me” some time ago but I never posted it on the BF board. It’s at
The Snappy Palace and at my place (Suite B) if you’d like to see it. I'll post
it on BF if you think people will like it.
Thanks again for the comments.
CHAPTER 2
Dandesun 6/1/02
Rebecca!!!
I am ashamed of
her!! She is so hitting on Todd that it's not even funny. The noive!
::narrows eyes:: Tess... I have to trust you... 'cause you're true blue and all
that but... honestly Rebecca... or should I say Jezebel?!
Where, or where is this going? I am intrigued.
Tessarae87 6.3.02
Don't
be too hard on her, Dande!
Think about how
different this Todd is from the man she left all those years ago. She is
mesmerized by him and the life he has that neither one of them thought was
possible back then.
Would she have left this version of Todd?
If she had regrets before, they multiplied after she saw him with Blair at the
bar. Once she was alone with him, she was bombarded by memories of what could
have been--if only. Sometimes people can't resist the urge to try to rewrite the
past even at the risk of the present.
And here's a spoiler... Don't read if you don't want to know....
=
=
=
Spoiler (I'm whispering really low here): This isn't really a Rebecca story. I'm
not trying to write T&R 2 but instead she is a catalyst for what happens
down the road.
Dandesun 6.3.02
Well,
see that's just funny, then.
Because 'this Todd'
is still the rat-bastard who told Blair that her baby was dead and gave him
away. I would think that if Rebecca even had an inkling that she'd run screaming
back to Texas and thank God she got out while the getting was good.
Sure, Todd managed to salvage what he tried so hard to screw up and is happy
NOW. He's in love with Blair NOW. He refuses to be afraid to show it NOW. But
considering everything they went through to get to NOW... Rebecca doesn't know
the whole story. She'd be appalled if she heard it.
As for that pseudo-spoiler... I don't know Tess. I just don't know. You're being
very very vague. I hate vague. ;P
And, just so I make my point clear, Todd needs to get his ass back to Blair. I
don't want either one of my wacky kids going down the road of infidelity, no
matter how sweet the temptation. ::shakes fingers sternly::
LadydayN
6.3.02 Blair is gonna
kick Todd's ASS!
And Dande is gonna
spill it all to Rebecca, LOL! (Tessarae, I'd watch my back around that one if I
were you).
Tessarae87
6.4.03 Tsk! Tsk! Ah Ye
of Little Faith!
And, Dande, you know
“vague” is my middle name but I wasn’t trying to be vague that time. LOL!
LD, I can always count on you to have my back when Dande comes after me and
Dande to have my back when you come after me. So I guess Dreams is okay for
right now. It's when you both come after me at the same time that I know I'm in
trouble :-) LOL!
We’re off and running again. I’m posting Chapters 3 & 4 this morning.
CHAPTERS 3 & 4
LadydayN 6.4.02
Great last
line!
But you had me
worried there with that last chapter!
Thought I was gonna have to get behind Dande in the Tessarae ass-kicking line.
All's well that ends in smut though!
Ladyday
6.4.02 Hey! I just
remembered something!
Next chapter better
have Todd recounting for Blair how Becca invited him in, but he DID NOT STAY. He
left without any further "pecks" on the cheek that somehow end up
being lipsmackers.
Tessarae87 6.4.02
Dayum!
Y'all don't have any faith in Todd at all do you?
I wonder why?
Well, get your popcorn and strap yourself in because we have a ways to go and a
story to tell with some dips and some turns. I’m putting up one of those wire
protection cage thingies they use in bars to keep the band from being hit by the
beer bottles just in case because when you and Dande get in the same kick-ass
line I need to duck.
But Blair told you at the end of Chapter 3 what the story is all about (major
spoiler!): life is full of choices and risks and you need to keep your wits
about you at all times. I love Rebecca but like I said before this is not her
story, so you don't need to worry about her.
Dandesun
6.4.02 Snicker
Chapter 3 was a big
ole WTF? for me. I had no idea why Blair was so damn bummed out. And when Cal
sat down and started oozing at her (I have issues with guys who just start in
with lines like that and eyes like that. It's like 'I don't care how battered
you've been by other women or how smooth you think you are. Keep a civil tongue
in your mouth.') I was getting rather nervous about what Blair might feel
incited to do.
(Hey, I know you guys loved that alley scene. I hated it. I hated it with the
burning passion of a thousand suns and that scene alone killed any chance there
ever was of me remotely liking the idea of Chair. It STILL pisses me off. I hate
seeing Blair degraded over and over and over again. I don't care how hot her
degradee is. Or how much I heart him.)
So... I was reading Chapter 3 with a suspicious look, I'll just say that right
now. I was half wondering if I'd missed something.
Now, the thing is, I
totally understand what it's like to have your man spend time with an old love.
I also know what it's like to have your man decide to walk down memory lane with
her. I know what it's like to be the old love he walks down memory lane with. So
there were definite sympathy pangs going on. It just seemed to me that Rebecca
really doesn't have much to offer Todd anymore. He's not looking for redemption
anymore. I think that you put it perfectly. She was the catalyst. Loving Rebecca
allowed Todd to love Blair... and the other people in his life that he's come to
love. Viki, Jess... maybe even Tea (I'm so not speculating there... people say
he loved her I'll just go with the flow for this one millisecond.) I think that
Blair probably feels a sort of unwarranted jealousy that Rebecca was able to
inspire Todd in that way while she (Blair) never held that position in anyone's
heart.
It's one of those things that makes sense but doesn't. Todd could never love
Rebecca the way he loves Blair. I know that Blair knows that... but there is the
feeling of 'I'm not everything to him' and even though it's impossible to BE
everything there is something in her that wants to me. Just as Todd wants to be
everything to Blair but could never be that Honest Man Who Loves Her the way
Cord was.
Todd and Blair love each other as they are, which is a rare commodity. Warts and
all, and they have seen all those warts up close and personal, they love each
other. Together they're better than they are apart. Sometimes, I don't think
they realize that. They both have such scars and wounds and grew up feeling
unworthy and unloved that they think that love is supposed to inspire them to be
better than they're capable of being. They have both bought into the Hallmark
card and haven't fully realized that what they DO have is so much more precious.
They realize it to some extent. When they let go and love each other there
really is nothing better. It's just they tend to put a little too much stock in
what the outside world thinks. And the outside world just doesn't get them.
My, but I've rambled. But I agree with LD. Next chapter should have Todd
recounting how he split after Rebecca got a little too friendly with his palm.
;D
CHAPTERS 5-7
LadydayN 6.10.02
I
will not be ignored!
LOL!
OMG! Girly you done good for your first bit o smut!
And that slut Heather has GOT to go!
Tessarae87
6.10.02 Ah, shucks,
thanks, Ladyday! : -)
I'm trying. A tiny
bit of smut one step at a time. LOL
I hear you about Heather! And you were worried about Rebecca! Ha! See, now we
have somebody to really worry about because she's going after our boy, she's not
nice, and she's used to getting what she wants.
Dandesun 6.10.02
Well,
well, well...
The interlopers have
been identified. They must be destroyed.
Stop me, I'm sounding like a science fiction character.
Hmm... Todd... Blair... science fiction... NO!! Veering off course a bit.
Heather is obviously trouble. But, what kind of trouble? Todd doesn't stray even
when he's married to someone else and he's familiar enough with wiles both
feminine and un to know when a chick is on the make. He was quite the player in
his day after all. Heather is likely to be the one to spill things about Blair
to the World At Large in reference to Travis. When that happens, all hell will
likely break loose and who is going to wind up most hurt?
Starr.
And Todd hates anyone who hurts Starr.
I will not want to be Heather by the time this is all over with.
But, I gotta tell ya, Heather's the easy one. She's a flat out evil whore no
question. It's not going to be any trouble at all to hate her happily and with
no reservation. She is the Enemy. Blair already knows this.
The trouble is Travis. Why? Because he pretends to be this Nice Guy but all he
wants is to get Blair. Doesn't matter that she's told him no. He wants her. The
biggest problem here is that Blair likes him and won't hold him back until it's,
most likely, too late. See, I hate Travis, too. There's nothing I hate more than
someone who acts all Good Guyish but is doing nothing but waiting for his moment
to strike. The way he focused on Blair's hickey... like he had a right to be
offended... like Todd had someone stolen his woman away or something. Blair was
never his to have so HIS little possessive schtik wears thin on me.
I may have to close my eyes for part of this. But, you know me, I'm a die hard
T&B'er. I'm certain that Blair and Todd were born with tattoo's saying
'Blair's Man' and 'Todd's Woman' somewhere on their person.
Buckle the seat belts...
CHAPTER 8
Ladyday 6-24-02 Damn,
I got to this late. You've been busy!
I'm all sleepy now,
but I wanted to let you know that I am still reading this story Tessarae.
Ohh that bitch Heather is going to come to an untimely end, I just know it!
CHAPTERS 9 -15
Taudia 7.1.02
Thanks for
these next chapters
told you before and
I'll tell you again... love this story. Something like this SHOULD be playing
out on the t.v. screen. If it were I would be watching every day.
SailorMars71
7.2.02 Wow.
Not a good idea
Taudia to have this scene played on t.v., none of us T&Ber would ever get
our works done. We would constantly be watching it, our tapes would be warp in a
week. Look at how many times people, with old tape, watch the stable scene? That
was tame compare to this. Nah, we wouldn't be so lucky.
BTW, Tess great chapter. Not to be rude but when is the next one coming?
Tessarae87
7.2.02 Blush! Whew!
Thanks Taudia and SailorMars! I will admit that I was biting my nails over
Chapter 15. Didn’t know if I should post it. Wasn’t sure if it worked.
Y’all know I don’t write smut….Well, I didn’t used to write smut…LOL
Zzanee
told me to just write it as a love scene and that’s what I tried to do.
Thanks for letting me know what you thought of it. And, SailorMars, I’m
working on the next chapter as we speak. I hope I’ll be able to post it soon.
Dandesun 7.3.02
You
scare the shit out of me, Tessa
And your dire
warnings from before fill me with dread. I knew that Blair would start looking
at herself at Travis' 'Rebecca' and it set my nerves on edge. Living on that
pedestal is very lonely. Wouldn't she rather be loved than worshiped?
Heather needs to go down. She makes me ill and Todd is playing this game very,
very stupidly. Hiding shit never works. Didn't he realize that when the truth
came out? Every time it has come out it's been all about hiding the truth but it
never works, surely he knows that by now.
All that being said...
You were worried about the love scene? Pshaw! The best part about it was how
totally Blair stacked the deck in her favor. Hee! Although, give the man credit,
he lasted a good fifteen minutes. And, yes, those cheesy porn routines do, in
fact, work. If your man is into you, it really doesn't matter how cheesy the
act... just as long as it's for him.
Blair needs to teach Heather a lesson. A long, painful lesson. What an utter
twat that ho is! I hate chicks like that. I've known a few in my time and I
truly despise everything that they are. I don't like a fictional one sniffing
around my couple.
And, yes, you're still scaring the shit out of me. I'm half afraid to keep
reading and half-afraid to stop. I don't need this kind of stress, I really
don't! ;D
CHAPTER 16
Ladyday 7.11.02 Finally
caught up! Whew!
Oh now Mr. Manning
is SO going to get his ass kicked when MRS. Manning figures out why he shooed
her out of town for a week!
And I can't believe poor Cassie is hooked up with that asshole!
LOL at Liz gushing like a demented schoolgirl!
Oh yeah, you done real good on the smut Tessarae!
Blainca 7-9-02 Damn
that Heather skezzer
of all the frickin
nerve!!! coming on to a married man right in his own home...Well!
I will peitently be waiting for Blair to Give here some problems!
Thanks Tess!
you are so refreshing!
Tessarae87 7-13-02
LOL!
What can I say?
She is just a flat out skeezer for real! And she intends to get what she wants!
CHAPTERS 17 &18
Blainca 7-9-02 Omg
omg omg omg!
I do believe that
was some smut! mighty fine smut at that! yoiu go on with your smutty self Tess!
Now why has Todd changed his mind about Blair siging..should I take his reason
at face value?
Todd also should have listen to his instincts as well as RJ in regards to this
transaction he is so egar to make now look where it's got him lying to Blair
again...Mr.Manning will have some splaning to do...
Now that Blair has left with Travis again let me just say I still don't trust
him...I just know he is gonna try something... man is he thick!
Tessarae87 7-13-02
I'm
blushing here!
Nothing like being
called smutty!
LOVED it! THANK YOU!
I didn't think I could do it but I decided oh what the hell I'd gave it a try.
Still biting my nails about it. That was probably the full extent of my smut
career but who knows....
Okay, I'm posting some new chapters today and you'll see that Todd is still
playing with fire, Heather is still a bitch and Jake Travis is not one to ignore
having Blair practically sent to him on a silver platter.
I hope you enjoy them!
CHAPTERS 19 & 20
Ladyday 7-15-02 Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Heather needs her
ass kicked.
Travis and his guitar playing song singing ass too.
Tessarae 7-18-02 LOL!
Everybody hates...
poor Travis. The man
is just singing his heart out! And Heather is most definitely cruising for a
bruising. We are at the edge of a major dip (good thing though is after that
things start to swing back up). The chapters I'm posting this morning though
focus on:
What is Heather doing behind closed doors? Can Cinderella like spiders? Would
Todd listen if Liz yelled louder?
Hugs, Ladyday! I'm glad you are still reading this one!
Ladyday 7-22 –02 LOL,
yes I'm still reading! ALWAYS!
I'm just a bit
slower in the summertime! I owe you many e-mails too, I know......I promise I'll
get to it, I see several new chapters posted. It's too late to read them now,
but hopefully tomorrow.
Dandesun 7-13-02 Jake
bugs me.
He's like this poncy
little creep that just doesn't get the hint. Yes, I get that Blair has really
TOUCHED him and all. I get that Blair likes him. But it's like he's pushing the
envelope with no real regard for the fact that she's very happy where she is.
That really bothers me.
Cassie sure was a surprise!! How is that going to affect things, I wonder?
DC's question to Todd... and calling him 'son' worries me. too...
I don't know, Tessarae. You keep telling me that T&B love each other and I
know you're a T&Ber and all that... but DAMN girl...
At least Todd recognizes that Heather's a skank and doesn't really want anything
to do with her. Blair is sitting in this fantasy world with the rock star and
thinking that everything is okay. I hate it that she doesn't see the shark
circling.
Blainca 7-14-02
I
just don't know what to think no more
It like the old day
of watching or in this case reading a sop with no spoiler....As Ireading i keep
shaking my head a t Todd saying you sir are going to be sooooooooo sorry...for
sending Blair to NY with that that thatDirty hair oh so toutured soul
whatever!!! ... can you tell me witch hotel they are staying at I can catch a
Cab and take care of him no problem!
Oh and do I hate Heather and that Jake bastard...am I supposed to hate them?
cause I really do!!
DC scares me!
Thanks Tess!!!
Tessarae87 7-18-02
Thanks
Dande & Blainca!!!!!
You will always hate
Jake Travis no matter what. I know. LOL. But in fairness to him he met Blair
when she was at her lowest because of Todd and he doesn’t completely trust her
take on things. Still it all gets resolved in the next few chapters and some
things are made clear to him about Blair’s heart. And Heather is just a skank,
pure and simple. What more can I say? DC is not a nice man especially when he
wants something and he is very proud of how he raised Heather. He scares me too!
Okay, if this is anything at all like a roller coaster ride you need to strap
yourselves in and grip the safety bar. We are headed for a major dip but the
good thing is that after we get through that one we start heading back up again.
Not too much further to go. I posted Chapters 20-22 today but the nail biting
stuff happens after that. Darkest before the dawn. Remember as you are screaming
at me and calling me names as we head into that major dip that in my world
T&B always come up again and arrive at the station safe and sound with some
lessons learned and stronger than ever. What can I say? I’m just an
unrepentant T&Ber!
I hope you enjoy the new chapters!
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