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The Tessarae Inn |
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Dreams In Amber Refrains
CHAPTER 16 Walking into the lobby of the offices at JStarr, Inc. had the opposite effect on her that walking into the foyer at Dorian’s had on her yesterday. Everything seemed right here. She felt herself exhale just staring into her office from the doorway. She loved her husband. She loved her children. But damn it she loved JStarr too. Something about just being back in her office reminded her of how hard she fought for this dream and the thrill of seeing it all come together. She sat in the chair behind her desk and actually whirled back and forth a few times. It was good to be the queen and back in her Queendom. Thank goodness she had straightened out that mess with Todd yesterday. He confessed that he was angrier than hell about her staying with Travis and twice as lonely for her. She caught him drinking and he was embarrassed to be caught off guard. He hadn’t wanted her to see the pile of beer bottles and cans behind the couch or suspect what he was feeling. Todd was certainly no teetotaler but it was not like him to get wasted either. Alcohol sure hadn’t dulled his performance or his appetite for her though. He had loved all of her fears away. She smiled at the memories then found herself laughing when she thought about the singing. He made her pay for that stunt but she would always have the memory of the singing and she’d never let him live it down. Tonight she was going to prove to him that they weren’t too old for couches, floors and even a table or two. “Hey-y-y-y,” said Toni as she rushed in and came straight for a hug. “Missed you. I’m so glad you’re back.” Blair stood up and hugged Toni tightly. It was damn good to see her too. And she was looking radiant. Planning her wedding obviously agreed with her. “I missed you, too. Any problems?” “None.” “So you missed me but I wasn’t needed?” “Slow your roll, Great Leader. My goal was to keep this place on an even keel while you were off lollygagging in the sun and such but now that you are back the company can take off and soar again.” She squeezed Toni’s hand for a second. “Thank you. I really appreciate you taking over so Todd and I could…take that trip.” “Tell it like it is. So you and Todd could FINALLY have your honeymoon.” Toni walked around the desk and flopped into one of the office chairs. She leaned forward and said, “So tell me, was the honeymoon sweet as honey?” Blair tried not to smile too much. “Sweeter. It was so sweet, Toni, I’m embarrassed when I think about it because I feel myself blushing.” “So Mr. Selfish-ass gave it for you, huh? Let you know what you mean to him in concrete terms.” “Stop it and don’t call him that.” “Call them the way I see them and remember I’m Ms-s-s. Selfish-ass so I know it’s really a compliment.” “And your husband-to-be is…?” “Beautiful as ever. I’m not sure I could survive a tropical paradise with him. He already has me in a daze 24-7. The paradise thing might put me in a pure pleasure coma.” Blair grinned at her. Was this Toni? Was this the same woman who only a few months ago could barely bring herself to admit she still had feelings for RJ. Now, she was gushing like a demented schoolgirl! Welcome to the club, Toni. “So you decided not to take that oh so fine Jake Travis up on his offer? Those deep brown eyes. That hair. The way he cocks his head and spreads his legs when he sings and lets his muscles rip when he holds that guitar… “Toni.” “Sorry. Just got lost there for a minute. You must admit that he is damn fine. But you decided not to go, right?” “It didn’t feel right. Either way seemed full of pitfalls but I finally decided it was better to do it the way…well, it was better not to sing.” Toni snorted then smiled. “Thank goodness. For a minute there I thought I was going to have to change my mind completely about the love of your life. But fear not. What you are saying is you decided to do what Todd wanted.” “I didn’t say that.” “Of course not, but tell me this: Was he in favor of you singing?” “No. He was concerned about the publicity.” “You know that man is the poster-child for jealous possessiveness, don’t you? He doesn’t want too many people seeing his treasure. Scared to death you’ll get a better offer.” “Stop it, Toni. He loves me.” “Yes, he does. Scary love. But he loves you. I don’t doubt that for a second. But you need to remember what he is willing to do in the name of love.” Blair cleared her throat. For better or worse, Toni never hid how she felt about Todd. All of her criticisms were softened by her consistent stance that she and Todd were more alike than different. Whether that was true or not, Toni and Todd were wary of each other like competing predators finding themselves unexpectedly on the same side. They always stood a step further back for each other than they did from other people, maintained a cordial but distant style of speaking to each other and never wanted to spend more than two seconds in each other’s company if no one else was around. “Personally, I thought your singing was a great idea. If you managed to drop JStarr’s name in conversation and give the products their props backstage, sales could skyrocket.” Toni sat up straight. “Wait! We could do small gift baskets for the performers! The publicity would be great! Think about it! But we’d have to work our butts off because we’re talking just a few days to get everything together.” “I can’t risk that. I don’t want the press in the middle of my personal life. That’s the big problem. I don’t want any bad fallout to touch my family.” Toni shrugged then nodded. “I don’t want you to do anything that you believe will put your marriage or family in any form of jeopardy,” she said softly. “I have some small idea of what getting to where you are has cost you. I want you to be happy more than any thing. So, all I’ve got to say is that to whatever degree worries about JStarr are factoring into your decision, you can take that out of the equation.” “You’ve already done your share of double duty.” “In a few weeks I’m going to be doing my own version of lollygagging on the beach with the hunk of my dreams. Remember? You’ll get to pay me back. And, although Keri is going to take care of Jason, I suspect he and Starr will spend more than their fair share of time at your place under foot. Tit for Tat, Blair. Just take JStarr off the table as an issue.” “How are the wedding plans coming along?” “RJ is still insisting that eloping would have been better but he doesn’t fool me. He loves this. Can’t wait to be the center of attention. And he wants everything to be traditional. When I try to jazz things up, he always come up with some reason to ax the idea. He wants me in white, a five tier wedding cake, rose petals…. Storybook stuff. The man is a pure romantic under all that gruff exterior.” “And you love that about him.” “Yes, I do. I guess I just love that man.” Blair laughed. There was something contagious about Toni’s schoolgirl giddiness. “By the way, he told me about asking Todd. Hank is walking me down the aisle so that would be perfect.” “RJ asked Todd to …” “Be his best man.” “What? Todd didn’t say anything to me about it.” “Well, RJ did say he’s been really busy lately. Our wedding is probably not on his top ten list of things to think about at the moment.” Busy? “Blair! You’re back.” She looked up and was thrilled at the sight of Cassie rushing into the office. She looked wonderful. Encouraging her to take a job with JStarr had been one of the best decisions she had ever made. Cassie was blossoming back into her old self—self-assured, curious, efficient and intrepid. She was even dating some guy she seemed to be very interested in. “I was looking for Toni and had no idea you were here. How were The Keys? Did you have a good time? Are Starr and Jack home too? River was asking about Starr the other day.” Blair laughed at Cassie’s rapid fire barrage of questions. Toni was rubbing off on her. “The Keys were as close to heaven as I expect to ever find on earth. Starr and Jack are still with Sheri. Starr is an actress these days and insisted on staying to make her debut. Sheri wants you and Toni to come stay with her for the premier in a couple of weeks.” Toni and Cassie looked at each other then burst out laughing. “I can’t wait,” said Toni. “Yeah,” said Cassie. “We have had many a conversation trying to imagine Creedyville. Two weeks, right? I’m putting it on my schedule right now. Shall I call mother? She hasn’t stopped talking about Maddog since the launch party. I know she’ll want to reserve a seat at the play and at the diner.” “Aunt Dorian may have to fight Dottie for Maddog. Those two are thick as thieves these days.” Cassie laughed. “That would be some fight to see all right.” “Is that for me?” asked Toni suddenly focusing on the folder in Cassie’s hand. Cassie handed the folder to Toni. “That’s why I was looking for you. They need you in the art department right away.” Toni jumped up. “I better run. Blair, I’ll check back in an hour or so. I’ll bring all of the files and I’ll catch you up on everything. Really glad you’re back.” Cassie slipped into the chair Toni vacated and they both watched Toni whirl out of the office. Cassie turned back and studied Blair for a minute. “You look good. You look like you’re loved and know it.” Blair rushed around the desk, hugged her and then perched on the end of the desk. “It was so wonderful. I knew he loved me, even during the worst of it but he never let me see it so clearly, so freely. All of the walls just dropped. It was almost scary.” “Scary?” “There was no holding back. I didn’t keep anything safe from him. Didn’t protect any part of my heart from him. How can I trust him like that after everything that has happened?” “So everything is all right?” “We’re working on better than all right. And I’m not going to push my luck by asking for the stars too.” Cassie frowned. “What happened? I know you, remember? What was the fly in the ointment?” “Not really a fly…” Blair glanced over at the large poster of the JStarr logo. “Of all of the gin joints on the planet his ex-girlfriend Rebecca showed up in the one where we were.” She shifted her gaze back to Cassie. “What’s the probability of that?” “Oh, sweetheart. After all this time she reappeared in his life! What did you do?” “I was mature about it. They went out and I went to get drunk but in the end we talked it over.” Cassie who seemed to be holding her breath exhaled. “That’s what I mean about us working on it and that’s better than all right. I will admit I was a little thrown by the return of Snow White but we didn’t avoid the issue. We talked it over and loved everything right again.” “What about the Grammy Awards? Sheri told me you were debating whether to perform. Have you decided not to? Is that why you’re here?” “It’s the best thing for everyone involved.” “Are you sure, sweetheart? I know how much you love to sing?” “I’m sure. Now, what about you? Are you still seeing the mystery man?” “He’s not really a mystery man I just don’t want to talk about him yet because I don’t want to jinx it. And I sure as hell don’t want to give mother a chance to get involved. I’m taking it very slow but we clicked almost instantly. He’s a bit older and very courtly. Treats me like a princess. I know I should hate it, but I don’t.” Blair nodded then smiled at her. Every woman needed to be treated by a man as if she was a princess at least once in her life. After everything Cassie had been through, she deserved the feeling more than some. Blair felt a profound sense of peace sweep across her consciousness. She had made the right decision not to perform. It was good to be home and things were looking up for everyone she cared about. There was nothing to be gained by rocking the boat. ========== Blair studied Todd’s face for at least the tenth time in the last ten minutes. “Are you really sure about this, Todd?” “You admitted to me that you like the idea of singing in front of such a large audience. I understand that. Remember I used to get a rush every Saturday afternoon for a lot of years doing my thing in front of a large crowd.” Blair smiled at him gently then moved closer so that they were touching. She kissed him on the cheek. She heard the pain in that description. They didn’t talk a lot about what he lost but she knew it still cut at him. He let her hold him but he kept his hands in his pockets. “Travis and I cleared the crap off the table and he finally convinced me that this is the best way to handle the situation. The kids are fine. Starr told me herself that she wanted to stay for the play. My son seems happy, too. You’ll be in New York for a few days and I’ll be in and out of Creedyville then when you come back you’ll be in and out. One week Blair. That’s it. If this was going to last any longer then I couldn’t see it, but I think we can juggle it for one damn week.” “Will you reconsider coming with me? At least for the news conference and the first rehearsals. Just a couple or three days. Come with me. Please.” “This is your thing, Blair. I respect it but I can’t see being part of it. Get it out of your system then let it be over and come on home to me.” “You can’t share any of it with me? Will you at least promise to come to the show?” “That I promise you. I will be there for your big night.” “I don’t have to do this.” “Yes, you do. I wish you didn’t but you do. So let’s just take a deep breath and get through it.” Blair frowned. That wasn’t true. She didn’t have to do it. In fact, she had reconciled herself to not doing it at all and was fine with it. It was Todd who called Travis and ironed out the details. She loved him for that but he was wrong if he thought she was not at peace with her decision not to perform at the Grammys. A loud knock on the door startled both of them. Todd glanced at her and then touched her lightly on the arm. “That’s Travis. I guess it’s time for you to go.” Todd opened the door and handed her bags to the driver. Blair couldn’t shake a sense of disjunction. Something just did not feel right. She walked next to Todd. “Maybe I should just stay.” “And have me feel guilty for the next ten years about you missing your big chance. Go. Sing. Shine. Then come home to mundane oh me.” He was telling her to go. Why did she feel so damn guilty? Travis stepped out of the limo and waved. Todd pecked her on the cheek then pushed her gently toward the limo. She turned and studied him. He made a move-along-gesture and she felt a sharp prick of irritation but before she could speak Travis cleared his throat and called to her. When she turned toward him he pointed to his watch. She swung her head around again and looked at Todd for one more second. He nodded his head. She turned and walked to Travis. |