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The Tessarae Inn |
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Regrets In Jade Tones
CHAPTER 7 Todd stood in the door of the bedroom and looked at Blair. She was sitting crossed legged with her elbows on her knees and her head resting on the palms of her hands. She was studying a photograph, which was resting on her lap, with such intensity that he felt a twinge of jealousy. When was the last time she looked at him like that? And ever since she hired Toni Reynolds a couple of months ago things seemed to have gone from bad to worse. The two of them were like the Thelma and Louise of the cosmetic industry—take no prisoners indeed. Blair glanced up and smiled at him. Why did she have to do that? Why did her smile have to feel like sunshine? How was he ever going to figure out how to be irritated with her again when she looked at him like that? Slowly she uncrossed her legs moved to the edge of the bed swung her feet off and stood up. He felt slightly light headed as he watched her bend over and the short nightgown ride up slowly in the back and reveal just the slightest glimpse of the lower edge of her buttocks. She stretched across the bed and slowly then ever so slowly moved back with something soft, pastel and silky in her right hand. He held his breath as she straightened up and the soft folds of her nightgown whirled around her thighs. She raised her right arm slightly so that her breasts seemed to lift even higher than usual. She glanced at him then put on her robe. What the hell was going on here? “I’m going to check on Jack,” she said breezing past him. Okay. He was trying really hard to be good about this but he needed her to check on him, too. He flopped on the bed and stretched his left arm over his eyes. He worked on breathing in a relaxing pattern. Out with the bad. In with the good. Out with the bad. In with the good… “He wants his daddy,” said Blair close to his left ear. “Will not take a substitute.” How long had he zoned out? Wasn’t she just gone for two seconds? Still he found the news gratifying despite his other concerns. Never send a woman to do a man’s job. Blair had not quite gotten over the fact that Jack’s first word was Dada, so she was going to make him pay over and over again. No late night call was too late. No early morning crisis too early. No call for Dada was too causal to keep her from sending him in to take care of business. He popped up and headed down to the nursery. Jack was waiting for him. He was standing up and holding onto the crib railing. When Jack saw him, he immediately stretched out his arms and said, “Dadda, Daddi, Daddeeee, Dadda…” over and over again. Todd picked him up and sat in the rocking chair. Jack giggled happily. “Your mother simply does not know how to do this. We men need music and movement.” He switched on the radio and let it play softly then he began to rock Jack as he sang along. After a brief airplane ride and a couple of goo-goo giggle faces, Jack settled into his arms and began to sing along in his own way. They rocked and sang and Jack gradually began to drift toward sleep. When the Train song “Drops of Jupiter” came on Todd’s body tensed up. Even Jack seemed to sense his mood shift. Jack looked up at him with eyes heavily weighted by sleep. “It’s okay,” he said as he rubbed Jack’s tummy, “I was just thinking about the time your Mommy left us. She came back, though, and with drops of Jupiter in her hair. But we can’t have that happen again. Can’t let her leave us again.” Jack seemed to nod in agreement then closed his eyes and promptly went to sleep. Blair had a pile of folders on the bed by the time he got back. He didn’t look at her as he stomped over to the bed. “He’s asleep.” “If you could bottle that magic we’d make a few million.” “We already have a lot more than a few million. We don’t need the money.” “What’s with you? I’m just kidding around.” He grunted as he climbed in bed. Blair pushed the folders away and got out of the bed. “I’m going to go kiss him goodnight and check on Starr.” He shrugged. He needed a kiss goodnight, too. Damn it. Was this damn JStarr, Inc. taking over her life? How patient was he supposed to be? Was this just another way of leaving him? When he heard her come back into the bedroom, he didn’t bother to move or acknowledge her presence. He kept trying to relax and control his breathing. Out with the bad. In with the good. Out with the …He let his mind drift. He was floating somewhere and it was so peaceful that it was scary. When was his life ever peaceful? If there was ever a time it was only when Blair was around. "Want some?” Some what? He opened his eyes then sat up slowly. The room was dim and the bed was free of folders and photographs and all her could see was Blair with the straps of her short nightgown off her shoulders leaning toward him so that her cleavage was fully exposed as she offered him a glass of wine. He took the glass. He took a sip. Sometimes when he looked at her it hurt. It honestly hurt sometimes to need someone as much as he needed her. “I was wondering if you missed me while you were looking for yourself out there?” Blair stopped her wineglass a few inches from her mouth. “What?” “The song—the Train song. Did you miss me, Blair?” Her eyes widened then she smiled in recognition. “Only, every minute.” He put his glass on the floor. He took her glass out of her hand and put it safely away then he pulled her to him and covered her lips with his and then let his hands move along her body. She trembled every time he touched her and he stopped trying to control his need for her. === “Thanks for meeting me here,” said Blair as she leaned over and grabbed a file folder from the pile spread across the coffee table. Toni stretched out her legs and leaned back against the couch. “No problem. This den is an inspiration for us all. A virtual Mount Vesuvius of creativity.” Blair laughed. It had only been a couple of months but she and Toni had become surprisingly good friends. On some fundamental level they just clicked. Toni dazzled her with the depth of her creativity and with her practical business sense. And Toni seemed to be dazzled by her vision for JStarr in return. Since Blair saw JStarr as an extension of her hopes and dreams, it astonished her that someone she met only a few weeks ago could respect and appreciate her vision so completely. She glanced over the folder contents and shook her head in amazement. How did Toni pick up on what she wanted with such precision and fidelity? “The photographs you’ve taken so far are superlative.” “Hey, watch throwing that praise around so freely. I’m an unrepentant praise hound.” “You deserve it. And I truly value your opinion. So, tell me, what do you think of the campaign so far?” “I think you have a winner. I really do. I’m mega impressed with what you’ve pulled together in such a short time. And this campaign is going to do you justice.” “Rick has been a big help.” “If you say so.” Blair sat on the couch. “I know things didn’t start out so well between you two but he really is a great guy.” Toni bit her lower lip as if to keep from saying anything. Blair leaned over to her. “Look, he just had another photographer is mind that’s all. He’s come around. How couldn’t he? You’re phenomenal.” “It’s your company, Blair. I just didn’t like the way he acted once the decision was made. And there’s no way the guy he wanted to hire was better than me. He could have been more gracious.” “I know that I made the best decision and you two may not like each other but you make a dynamic team. We’re six weeks ahead of my most optimistic projections.” “There’s a possibility we could be even further…” Blair cut her off. It bothered her that Toni and Rick shared such animosity toward each other but if the proof was in the pudding those two knew how to channel mutual irritation into something artistic and pragmatic that soared above even her wildest expectations. She had no intention of losing either one of them. “Look, how far we’ve already gotten today,” said Blair pointing to the stack of folders on the floor, which indicated aspects of the project dealt with and completed. “I thought we’d need three or four days to finish this but we’re smoking. Some credit has to go to Rick’s organizational plan and preliminary sketches.” Toni harrumphed. “I’ll give him the credit he deserves but can we take a break? My brain cells are fried.” Blair was not at all sure that Toni was sincere about acknowledging their debt to Rick but she was more than ready to quit. They had all been working really hard on the campaign and it showed. She was thrilled with the progress and thrilled that she hired Toni, but she also felt that it was time for her to pull back a little in general. Her life was about a balancing act and there was no way she was going to allow Starr, Jack and especially Todd to feel shortchanged. Shorter and fewer meetings for a while, seemed a reasonable compromise. “This meeting is officially over,” she said. “Kick off your shoes. Stretch your legs out on the couch. I’m going to run check on Jack then I’ll grab a bottle of wine and a hunk of cheese and we can talk.” “Coolness.” “Okay, you’re spending way too much time around Starr.” Blair carefully placed a piece of cheese on her apple slice. She munched away happily. Cheese and apples were two of the primo food groups as far as she was concerned. “How’s Jason?” she asked between bites. Toni delicately brushed away cracker crumbs from the edge of her mouth. “That’s why I’m so tired. I was up last night with him. Poor baby is still suffering with a cold but I think we made it over the hump. He was feeling much better this morning. I’ll probably let him go back to school tomorrow or at least by the day after.” “Is he still at home?” “Yes. RJ is with him. That man dotes on him.” “I guess so. He told me once that he thinks having him is a miracle.” Toni crossed her legs at the ankles and slowly drew her knees close to her chest. “I just wasn’t strong enough.” What? “Strong enough? To take care of Jason’s cold?” “No. I know what you want to know and the answer is that I wasn’t strong enough for RJ.” “I don’t understand.” “I really loved him. But, I was so young--we both were--that I believed my father when he told me I would get over him.” “You didn’t?” “No, but what good did that do either of us? I acted like I did. He went away and I pretended he was gone for good. I leaned on Hank and pulled him into the deception. I don’t even know why I did that.” Blair set up straight. “You needed the money, didn’t you?” “At first, but once my father realized I was not going to give up the baby, he gradually came around. It took him a few years but who can resist Keri? Of course, he fell in love with her. But he was…” Blair held her breath. Toni always got to the critical points in her life story then backed off. This time she pressed. “What? He was what?” “He was a hard man. His love was never free or without a downside.” Blair felt alarm bells go off inside of her head. “He didn’t hurt her, did he?” “No, no. He never laid a hand on her in anger or otherwise. I mean, he loved Keri but I’m not sure if she realized it because he was so standoffish.” “What about Jason?” “He was dead before Jason was born.” “How…” Blair stopped herself. She wanted to know how Toni and RJ managed to conceive Jason but did she have a right to ask Toni such a personal question? Toni seemed to know exactly what she was thinking. “I was in New York making arrangements to bury my father and settle his estate. I was standing in a hotel lobby and looked across the room and saw RJ standing there. I think we noticed each other at the same time.” “For real?” Blair no longer considered herself to be a romantic, if she ever really had been, but she couldn’t help feeling that same twinge of anticipation she got as young girl when she read love stories. Funny how you want to believe in some things despite mountains of evidence to the contrary. “Sounds like a scene from a movie.” “I guess it was kind of like that. It was certainly unreal, if that’s what you mean.” Toni tightened her arms around her knees. “It felt as if no time had passed and it had been fifteen years since I’d seen him the last time. Fifteen years, Blair. How could I have managed not to see him for that long?” “What happened when you saw each other?” “It was weird. There was no sound. There was no air. I couldn’t walk but somehow we just moved toward each other.” “And?” “You have to understand that I was a wreck. My father kicked me in the soul my whole life and finally he was dead …and I was devastated.” “But he’s the one who kept you from RJ, right?” “I made the choice. Or, I thought it was my choice. At least that’s what I believed at the time.“ “So when you saw RJ what happened?” Toni grabbed another cheese cracker and bit into it. Blair held her irritation in check. Toni always did this. She’d get right to the really good stuff then shutdown and refused to talk about it anymore. Toni chewed for a few seconds. “You know when someone rules your life even if you hate him when he leaves there’s a huge void. I was a mess. And I looked up and the man I loved most of my life was within touching distance.” “What did you do?” Toni set the cracker down. “I fell in his arms and had the best weekend of my life, spent mostly in a hotel room and in bed then I walked away.” “Why? You said you were crazy about him.” “I didn’t really know why but I just couldn’t stay with him. Broke his heart. Cut and ran.” “You said you didn’t know then. Do you know now?” “You helped me figure it out.” “Me?” Blair smiled. She helped? “How?” “You told me about you and Todd.” “Oh. I guess we do have a rather complicated history. But I don’t…” “I finally realized that it takes a lot of courage to love someone that much.” Blair started to disagree but then her mind flashed back to her long conversations with Emily months ago. Emily said pretty much the same thing and it opened her eyes at the time. “And it doesn’t make it easier if your father is hell bent on keeping you apart,” continued Toni. “I was a coward. Plain and simple. My father was dead and I was still scared of him.” “What about now?” “We are parenting our children together but I’m not sure if I can expect or if I want more than that.” “What does he want?” Toni shrugged. “I really hurt him and I’m not sure if I’m capable of doing what it will take to make that right.” “Who did you hurt?” Blair and Toni both turned quickly toward the voice. Rick was standing in the doorway of the den. Blair stood up and faced him. “Rick? What are you doing here?” He adjusted his big round eyeglasses and said, “I heard you were conducting business in your home today and I can see that the two of you are hard at it.” “Excuse, me?” Toni sat up straight then stood and faced him. Rick glared at Toni. “I can see that there’s a estrogen network operating. I guess I’m at a decided disadvantage.” “I’m not sure if that’s true,” said Toni. “Your estrogen level seems pretty high to me.” Blair noted that Rick’s eyes suddenly become dark and flat as a shark’s. He glared at Toni again. There was something unsettling about the swift shift in his aura. The change was almost as dramatic as that time in the office when he arrived dressed like a biker. But that was months ago and nothing like it had happened since then. “Rick,” said Blair, “I’ll take those papers and we can meet tomorrow at the office as planned.” “How about showing me around your grand house? This is a gorgeous place.” “Not today.” For a moment, Blair was actually afraid that he would not leave. He seemed to radiate a hard edge despite his ugly suit and owl eyeglasses. His feet were planted firmly and his legs were slightly apart but the muscles in his arms tensed as if he could pivot any minute and throw a punch. What? What was wrong with her? This was Rick for goodness sake. Blair shook her head then berated herself for thinking Rick was a threat of any kind. She was just unnerved by his sudden appearance. Her mind had conveniently filled in the rest. How could she think milk-toast Rick was a danger? Still, she was not in the mood for a snarkfest between Toni and Rick. “Thanks for bringing those files, Rick, but we are obviously finished for the day and we’re having a personal conversation.” Blair walked around the couch and toward Rick. “I hope you understand but I would like for you to leave. We can talk tomorrow at the morning meeting.” His stance softened and his body relaxed. “Of course, I will. You can give me the tour some other time.” Blair walked him to the front door and made sure he left. She called to Faith and told her in no uncertain terms to never let anyone into the house again without alerting her. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Manning, but he told me he worked for you. I directed him to the living room and went to find you but, when I couldn’t find you, I came back but he was gone. I thought he left.” “How long was he in the house?” “Five minutes.” “Faith.” “Okay, more like fifteen or twenty minutes. I didn’t think about looking in the den. No one is ever in the den.” “That’s unacceptable. Understand?” “Well, Brianna said…” “What about Brianna?” “Nothing.” For a long five count Blair stared at Faith. She understood that there was a rivalry between Faith and Brianna. Faith was always making sarcastic remarks about Brianna and whined that Brianna got special privileges because she was the nanny. And there was, she also suspected, some competition between the two for Fred’s attention as well but this was not the time or place to bring that foolishness into the discussion. “Don’t let this happen again. Is that clear?” “Yes, ma’am.” She watched Faith scurry away. She would talk to Todd about firing Faith later. Their son was upstairs. Rick was not a problem but if he could walk in then so could someone with less honorable motives.
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