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The Tessarae Inn |
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The Son Also Rises CHAPTER 29 Todd sat beside Sean’s bed and held his hand. His hand was so small for such a brave little boy. Larry said he was going to be fine but he had taken a pretty severe beating and his left inner ear was damaged and that was probably why he fell. His balance would be off for a while longer. A wave of anxiety swept across his consciousness. If he and Ethan hadn’t figured out where Katherine was, if he had been just a minute later, if he had decided to follow the path to the right instead of the left, he wouldn’t have been there to pull Sean back into this world. “Is Blair okay?” “Yes. She’s fine, Sean. And you know she doesn’t want you to call her Blair. She’s your mother now. Call her mommy and you call me daddy.” “Is that what you really want?” “Yes, if you want to.” He nodded his head slowly. Todd squeezed his hand. “Thank you for taking care of your mother. You were very brave, Sean.” He saw the tears spring in his eyes. “I was scared.” “I know you were but it’s okay, Sean. Everything is going to be okay now.” “Mr. Manning, I need to check on Sean. Do you mind waiting in the hall.” Todd glanced at the nurse and then looked at Sean. “Are you going to be okay alone for a few minutes?” Sean nodded his head. Todd studied him for a minute then leaned over and kissed him on the forehead. He walked out into the waiting room and sat in a chair near the end of the row. He rested his arms on his knees and waited. The nurse finally came out. “How is he?” “He’s doing remarkably well all things considered. He’s very tired, though, and is actually sleeping. I think he thinks he has to stay awake to protect you. Maybe you should let him sleep. Maybe use this opportunity to get some rest yourself or check on your wife.” He thanked the nurse but then walked to Sean’s room. When it came to his son, he wasn’t going to ever just take anyone’s word about anything again. He opened the door slowly and saw that Sean was, in fact, fast asleep. He stepped back and closed the door then made a phone call. He sat for a few more minutes in the waiting room then checked on Sean again. Finally, he took the elevator down two floors to the fourth floor. He walked to Blair’s room but he couldn’t bring himself to open the door. He stood for a long time with his hand pressed against the smooth wood but he couldn’t press it open. He rested his forehead against the door but that was as far as he seemed able to go right now. Finally, he gave up and walked to the fourth floor waiting room. He sat near the window. He didn’t know for how long. “Oh, here you are.” He looked up expecting to see Viki, who he had called before he left Sean, and found himself face-to-face with Dorian. “When did you get here?” “A while ago. I brought Starr but I need your help.” “Starr! Is she all right?” “Blair refuses to see her. You have to talk to her, Todd. Although her intentions are good, Starr needs to see her mother.” “She looks pretty awful, Dorian. All banged up and bruised. Her face is… Maybe it’s best that Starr not see her right now.” “No. It’s not best. And it’s not best for you to sit out here either. Blair needs you as much as you need her right now.” “I’ll go in in a minute.” Dorian sat next to him. What the hell? Was this Dorian sitting close to him becoming a habit? “I know how much pain you are in,” she said softly. “I have some small idea of what you are going through. Every mark on her face, every bruise on her body, every tear in her eye is like a stab wound to you. I understand but both Starr and Blair need you right now.” “I don’t think either of them need me. I just hurt them.” “You are their rock. You have to understand that. The only way you could hurt them now is if you fail to see that.” “Some rock. And what’s with you, Dorian? I can usually count on you to kick me when I’m down and stomp me for good measure. Don’t let me do this alone.” Tears sprang into Dorian’s eyes and Todd suddenly felt totally off balanced as if the world had shifted too far on its axis.” Dorian wiped the tears away quickly. “You brought Blair back, Todd. It was more than I ever dared hope for. Do you deserve her? Hell, no. Will I ever stop hating you? Hell, no. And I’ll call you a liar if you ever tell anyone I said this but you brought Blair back to us and I’m not sure anybody else in this world could have done that but you.” This was too much to take in right now. He stared out of the window but then said, “Where’s Starr?” “She’s in Sean’s room.” He sat up straight. “He’s sleeping and he shouldn’t be upset.” “Don’t worry. She’s just sitting on the bed next to him watching him sleep. She may claim otherwise but she cares about him, too, Todd.” The image of Starr watching over Sean made something catch in his throat. Too much strange stuff happening right now. He picked at his left thumb. Dorian stood up. “I’ll keep an eye on the children and then I’ll bring Starr down in a little while. I’ll give you a chance to talk to Blair.” He dropped his head then said softly, “Thank you, Dorian.” “Don’t try to make hell freeze over, Todd.” He opened the door to the room slowly. Blair had her head turned away with her eyes closed. “I haven’t changed my mind, Dorian,” she said. “I don’t want Starr to see me like this.” “Like what?” She turned toward him slowly. “Todd. I thought you had gone home.” “I was upstairs with Sean.” “Is he okay?” “Yes but you need to let Starr see you, Blair. She needs to see her mother.” “But I look… my face is all… I don’t want to scare her, Todd.” A tear threatened to pop out but he held himself in check. To this day the image of Starr’s face when he told that her mother was dead was etched in his mind as if drawn with acid. He slipped into the chair next to the Blair’s bed. He wanted to reach out and touch her but he just couldn’t bring himself to do that right now. “Do you remember when you told me after that night when I was so angry and almost took it out on Sean that I needed to come home and let Starr know that people made mistakes and that you had to face up to them.” “This is different.” “Love isn’t about the way you look or even if you’re whole. Starr will always love you, Blair, no matter what. Don’t treat that love so lightly.” “I’m not.” “Yes you are. I was there. I know what she went through. Nothing will scare her or hurt her as much as thinking you were dead. Trust me. She needs to see her mother. She needs to touch your hand. She needs to look into your eyes and see life there.” “But I look so awful, Todd. I look so awful.” What was he supposed to say to her? There was a soft knock on the door. “That’s probably Dorian with Starr. Can I let her in?” She nodded slowly but there were tears in her eyes. He walked to the door and stepped out into the hall. He squatted in front of Starr. “Your mother was hurt really badly, Starr. She doesn’t look so pretty. Do you understand that?” “Yes.” “You have to be really gentle with her, okay?” “Okay.” He stood up and took her hand and opened the door. They stepped into room. Blair had her head turned away but she turned toward them slowly. He felt Starr freeze but then she squeezed his hand hard and moved forward. “Hey, sweetheart,” Blair said. “I missed you.” Starr nodded but Todd could see the tears rolling down her cheeks. He wanted to turn away but he forced himself to hold steady. Starr pulled her hand out of his then moved next to the bed, took Blair’s hand and kissed it. Blair looked up at him quickly then back at Starr. “I don’t want to hurt you. Daddy said I have to be gentle. I missed you, too, mommy. Promise me you won’t go away like that again.” Blair touched Starr’s face gently. “I know I look kind of scary right now, Starr, but I’m going to be all right. I promise.” “You’re still the prettiest mother I’ve ever seen.” Blair burst into to tears and reached for Starr and hugged her tightly. Dorian rushed in and hovered over them like a mother tiger. Todd had to leave. The emotions whirling in the room were too raw. They scrapped against his consciousness and left painful scars. He checked on Sean and then talked to Viki, who had come to stay with Sean all night. Finally, he returned to Blair’s room. Dorian agreed to stay with Blair for a while so he could take Starr back to Dorian’s, put her to bed and check on Jack. Todd walked into Blair’s room. It was late. The hospital floor was almost silent. The lights in the room were low. The nursing staff was trying to get her to sleep but Blair was wide-awake. She smiled when she saw him. He sat next to the bed and held her hand. “Do you need anything?” “I was so scared, Todd.” “I know, babe. But everything’s all right now.” “I was scared that I’d never see my babies again. I was scared that I’d never see you again but you know if I had to leave this world I would wait for you.” “I know.” “Do you? I know you are blaming yourself but it wasn’t your fault, Todd. Katherine was just crazy. I know you did everything you could to keep us safe. I know that.” “I’m not sure if that’s true, Blair.” “Please, don’t leave me again, Todd. Don’t let your soul get trapped back in Ireland again. Stay with me.” “What are you talking about?” Tears sprang in her eyes. He kicked off his shoes then climbed in bed next to her. He wrapped her in his arms. “I’m here, Blair, and I’m not going anywhere and neither are you.” Blair finally went to sleep wrapped in his arms. He listened to her breath just for the pure pleasure of it. Then he found himself doing the strangest thing. He started singing softly to her: "You are my sunshine.
My only sunshine. You make
me happy when skies are gray. You’ll
never know, dear, how much I love you. Please
don’t take my sunshine away.” He brushed his hand softly over her hair. Starr was right. She was still the prettiest woman he had ever seen. “The other night as I lay sleeping I dreamed I held you in my arms. When I awoke dear I was mistaken. And I hung my head and cried.” He kissed the top of her head and hummed softly as he counted his teardrops.
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