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The Tessarae Inn |
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Suspicions In Scarlet Repose CHAPTER 21
The pounding sound ricocheted around her head like an errant bowling ball. She framed the sides of her head with her hands and pressed gently. She wanted a wall between her and the world out there. Please. She just wanted to be alone. Maybe whoever was at the door would just go away. She didn’t want to see anyone. She didn’t want to talk to anyone. She just wanted some peace. The pounding continued relentlessly, with a changing rhythm associated with each burst. Whoever was at the door was not going to go away she finally decided. She stood up and briefly leaned against the wall to steady herself then swam to the door through the turgid murky river of emotions that was constantly threatening to swamp her today. Was it just a few hours ago that her place still felt like a home instead of once again like a sterile display apartment that smarmy agents used to wrangle new prospects. Everything felt alien to her and she was lost and floating along with the other debris. She didn’t bother to look through the peephole. What did it matter who was there? A rapacious tabloid journalist, an axe murder or yet another long lost mother. Didn’t matter. She swung open the door and he beamed at her with sparkling eyes. His hair still looked sun drenched as if he’d just come back from a day at the beach and the white dress shirt he was wearing seemed designed to show off his well earned muscles and to provide contrast for his tan, while his jeans were so well worn and seemly shaped by experience that they seemed like a second skin. She wanted to puke. “Hey,” Cal said as he stepped around her and strolled into the apartment. “I’ve got news. Good news for a change.” She turned and stared at him. He moved toward her quickly. “It’s good, I promise. It’s gonna be all right.” She sighed and exhaled slowly then bit her lower lip as she shook her gently. He studied her face for a second but then reached behind her, grabbed the door and swung it shut. He cupped her elbow, gently guided her to the couch and pointed to it and gestured for her to sit down. She didn’t bother to muster a protest. She sank down into the cushions and tried to disappear. “You didn’t kill Carmen Duvet.” She blinked. He squatted in front of her. “You didn’t kill Carmen.” She nodded her head. “I know.” “Well, the police are going to know that soon as well. There’s another suspect and—“ “It really doesn’t matter anymore.” Anger flashed across his face and his eyes widened. “The hell it doesn’t.” She leaned back into the cushions of the couch and sought some comfort in the softness. Why was he here? She didn’t feel like explaining anything. He touched her hand. “They’re gonna get him,” he said softly. She massaged her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. “I guess it was just a matter of time.” “It’s over, Heather.” She opened her eyes and looked at him. “Because of you? You found him?” “The connection? Yeah, I told the police. They’re gonna handle it.” “Thank you, I guess.” “Damn. This is not what I expected.” He stood up and looked around quickly. “Where do you keep your liquor? You need a drink.” She sat upright. “No. No drink. I can’t… I can’t handle alcohol.” “Okay. What about some tea or something? Something warm and soothing.” “I can get some later.” “I’m here. Look, where’s the kitchen? I can figure out how to make it.” Cal reappeared carrying a mug of what she hoped was tea in one hand and a shot glass in the other. She smiled at him despite herself. He seemed so proud. He’d made a freakin’ cup of tea but he looked like he’d just landed a space ship on Mars. And it seemed that he’d found the scotch and poured himself a double. He handed her the mug then sat on the other end of the couch. He immediately took a sip of his drink and then smiled at her as he placed his drink on the end table. He lightly touched her leg as he grabbed for the cashmere throw. “Why don’t you swing your legs around and stretch them out.” Stretch out? Once again, why was he even here? “Come on, Heather, you need to relax.” She tried to do as he suggested but for some reason her legs felt like lead. He reached over and lifted her legs then spread the throw over them and her lower torso. He patted her legs and then reached for his drink again. For a long while they sat in silence. She sipped her tea. He sipped his scotch. “You want to tell me what happened?” he asked. “No.” “I’m licensed and bonded. I’m required to keep my mouth shut on penalty of death by honey and fire ants. Kind of like a priest without the religiosity. You can trust me, Heather.” “Why should I talk to you?” “Because you obviously need to talk to someone and I’m the only one who’s here.” She looked away. “I can call someone else if you want me to,” he said softly. “Just thought since I was here you could borrow my ears but I can call someone else if—“ “There’s no one to call. Nobody loves me but my mama and sometimes I worry about her, too.” Heather burst into tears. Cal jumped up and moved toward her but she waved him away. “I’m okay,” she said. “Just an old saying. I can handle this. I handled being in jail. I can handle anything.” He smiled at her. “Heather, you were in jail for a day and a half. Private cell and with LPD’s version of room service.” She glared at him but he met her gaze directly with amusement dancing in his eyes and then raised his eyebrow. She laughed and wiped away her tears. He nodded then walked back and sat again on the other end of the couch. “I would be toast in the real system wouldn’t I?” she asked. “’fraid so. Luckily you don’t have to worry about that.” “How do you know that? I mean how do you know so much about jails? Have you been in jail?” “Lots of them.” What the hell! She eased upright. Pumpkin. What kind of mother was she? She didn’t really know this guy from Adam and here he was sitting up in her apartment and-- “I was a cop,” he said. She exhaled. “Oh, that explains a lot.” “Almost fifteen years. Joined the force right out of high school. Earned my college degree the hard way—night school and lots of years with my butt pressed into those little wood desks that should be reserved for children.” “But you’re not a cop now.” “Nope. I was retired.” She nodded. She’d picked up on the odd phrasing I was retired, but she didn’t want to know any more. Didn’t have the energy to pay attention to anyone else right now. For once in her life she had a right to be selfish. All the other times were just the gifts of a privileged life but this time she had a right. Her deadbeat mother had— “Heather?” She glanced at Cal and then studied his face. Was this all a scam? What did he want with her? Did it matter? “She left when I was three. I don’t really remember her. He didn’t keep any pictures or say her name.” “Your mother?” “ He told me it was best to think of her as dead. And that was that. Except it wasn’t that. I thought about her all the time. I never understood what I did to make her leave me. I tried so hard not to do anything that would make him leave too.” He nodded. "I get that but did something happen? Why are you thinking about her now?” What was wrong with her? Why in God’s name had she brought up her mother. She didn’t want to tell Cal about how her mother had reappeared without one bit of warning with her perfectly polished fingernails sharpened to blades ready to cut her heart to shreds. “Heather?” She cleared her throat. “Just been reassessing my life. Being put in jail and charged with murder kind of brings up unanswered questions about your life.” He shrugged. “I can see that. I mean for someone like you, all teasing aside, I guess LPD’s jail was pretty rough. So you’ve been thinking about your mother, huh?” “She didn’t want us. She just left and never looked back. No letters. No cards. No calls. She didn’t want us, you know.” Cal rotated the shot glass in his hand. “Your father told you that?” “It was the truth. She never came back, not even just to see us.” Cal nodded his head. “That’s pretty rough. Both of my parents are dead now. It leaves a hollow place when someone you love goes away like that.” Heather shook her head. “Why? I don’t understand why it matters now. It’s not like she was ever part of my life.” “You may not remember her in a way you can put into words but she carried you in her body. I always thought that was kind of miraculous you know. She was the first contact you had in this world, so maybe your head doesn’t remember her but your soul does.” Heather crossed her arms over her chest. “That’s stupid. My soul doesn’t remember crap.” He dipped his head slightly and nodded. “You’re probably right. I just thought… Well, I thought…” “You have children?” He stared at her for a long five count. “I almost did once but she didn’t survive.” A cold wave of anxiety gripped Heather at the base of her neck. Pumpkin. What if something happened to Pumpkin? She didn’t want to hear stories about people losing children. What was she supposed to say to him? She was never good at this sort of thing. Why did she even ask that question? “I’m sorry,” she said finally. “Yeah, me too,” he said softly. “She died with her mother. Didn’t get a chance to be born but I tell myself that she felt safe, though, even at the end because she was with her mother, you know.” Heather burst into tears. “I’m so sorry.” His gaze darted around the room and sat next to her. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m the one who’s sorry. Pushing my ideas out there like that.” “It’s…it’s okay. I just…” “After they died, I had to weave a fantasy, you see, to convince myself that it was worth taking another breath and then another one after that one. Somehow I had to convince myself that it was worth surviving.” “It was worth it?” “It almost always is, Heather. Almost.”
“Trust me on this. You’ll feel better. It’s considered to be a cardinal sin to have such a great view and not take advantage of it. Now, stand here and spread your arms out like this.” She glanced back at him but then spread her arms. “I saw Titanic, Cal. This is not exactly the same.” He laughed. “Everybody’s a critic. Oh, wait, I know what the problem is. Let me get the lights.” “What?” He ignored her, rushed down the stairs to the living room and turned out all of the lights, then rushed back up to the landing where the staircase made an abrupt shift in direction and then led up to the second floor. He stepped behind her, moved his arms under hers and lifted them up and out to the side again. “Now, tell me it doesn’t look like the world is at you feet. You are the queen of all you survey.” “Some queen.” “Most definitely. And some world.” She looked at the skyline of Llanview that stretched out in front of her and in the far distance she could even glimpse the Llantano River. Funny, she had never really paid any attention to the view before but Cal was right, with the lights out and the sky so clear that the stars actually seemed to twinkle, it was quite beautiful. She shifted slightly and glanced back at him. “Can I ask you a question?” “Okay, but give me a second to brace myself. If it’s so bad you have to ask permission then I know I need some back up.” “It’s not bad…it’s just none of my business.” “Now, I know it’s a dozy.” “Did you love the mother of your child?” He was silent for a long count then said, “With everything in me. She wasn’t just my baby’s mother. She was my wife, my life, and the keeper of my hopes and dreams. There was nothing before her, everything with her, and nothing after her.” She took a couple of steps forward and dropped her arms then turned around and faced him. “I don’t think it makes sense to love someone that much.” “Probably not, but I think at the most you only get one chance at it. So most people are safe.” “What do you mean?” “I mean most people don’t find it and those that do are often too afraid to take a chance on it. They play it safe.” “Makes sense to me. Playing it safe, I mean.” He shrugged. “There are no guarantees. The very lucky ones get to keep it, the unlucky ones never take the chance, and the rest of us find it and lose it in the fraction of a second then live the rest of our lives on the memories of what we had for just a minute or two.” “What’s the point then? Why take the chance?” “I don’t know. All I know is that even with all the pain I wouldn’t change one thing if it meant losing even one minute I had with her.” “You’ve never felt anything for anyone since her?” “I’ve been careful.” “Careful?” He shifted his gaze and stared out of the window beyond her. “Not really looking for anything or anyone.” Heather crossed her arms over her chest. “Give me a break. You’re a man and I’m sure you haven’t really put any thing away or become a monk.” He returned his gaze to her and smiled. “Women? I’ve had lots of them. Relationships? None. Like I said, I’m not looking.” “How does that make you careful?” “I met someone a few months ago and there was this spark. Nearly blew my mind. But she belongs to someone else and I was saved from having to figure out where that spark might have led. See? Careful.” “But you felt something?” “Yeah.” She looked into his eyes and a tingle spread across the edge of her consciousness and a shiver raced up her spine. Finally, she nodded her head. “Good. Then there’s hope. I don’t want love with everything in me anymore. It may be magical when you’re loved back but it cuts your insides out and makes you act like a fool when you’re in it all alone.” “The quarterback?” She exhaled and stepped around Cal. “I really don’t want to talk about this.” “Heather, look, I have to tell you something about the new suspect.” A heavy weight pressed into her chest. Byran. What was she going to do now? Why did it have to turn out this way? The phone rang and she breathed a sign of relief as her thoughts screeched to a halt. She just couldn’t afford to think about him right now. She couldn’t afford to let herself get too upset. She had to think about Pumpkin. She bolted down the stairs and picked up the phone then froze when she heard her fathers voice jump through the line. “You heard yet, Number One? Heard about your boy? Heard how he’s going down for Carmen? Heard how he stabbed that poor girl and then let you take the blame? Have you heard it? Can you see what being a doormat for some coward will get you? I told you over and over again he won’t worth it. Need to listen to your old man. I’m the one who has your best interest at heart but you chose to align yourself with a man who didn’t, never did, and still doesn’t give a damn about you. I told you so. Now stew in your own juices, girl child, and live with what you’ve wrought.” Click Heather stared at the phone in her hand. Tears streamed down her cheeks, although she wasn’t aware that she was crying. Why had Bryan done that to her? Why did her father have to try to use it to grind her soul into dust? Why did-- Cal walked up behind her, took the phone receiver out of her hand and placed it back in the base. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “What happened?” She couldn’t look at him. She pulled at her fingers and tried to breathe normally. “They found out about Bryan. The police…” “Yeah, well, that …” She looked up at him and met his gaze. He frowned then stepped back. “You knew it was him all along. Damn. You were protecting him. Damn, Heather. How stupid was that?” Comments?
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Suspicions In Scarlet Repose FAN FICTION SLIDESHOWS
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