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The Tessarae Inn |
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Consequences in Blue Notes
CHAPTER 12 The fire kept them warm but the coffee soon lost its punch and Emily pulled out the whiskey. It was bourbon. She would have preferred scotch but bourbon would do. “So what’s your story?” Blair stretched out her legs and crossed them at the ankles. “I don’t have one worth telling.” “We all have stories. Not pretty stories or necessarily comforting stories but stories nevertheless.” “If a story exists but no one tells it, does it exist?” Emily narrowed her eyes but smiled at her. She took a sip of whiskey then said, “Does Wes ever talk about his father?” “Not to me but it’s not like we talk a lot.” “C.C.—Clay Cutter-- was like something you’ve probably never seen. He was wild. God was he wild and dangerous. Nobody in this town or county messed with C. C. Ryder because he didn’t put a lot of limits on what he would do to get what he wanted. And he was pretty. You can tell that Wes didn’t get his looks from me.” Blair tried to say something reassuring but Emily held up her hand and took another sip of her drink. “I have no illusions about myself and it was no different when I met him. I accept what I am and make no apologies. And I didn’t have time or interest in taming a man that wild and full of surface perfections.” Blair was interested despite the warning flags waving in the back of her consciousness. “So what happened?” “He was intrigued by a woman who wasn’t afraid of him and wasn’t interested. Like catnip to a man like that. The more I stepped back, the more he stepped forward. He decided he wanted me and like I said he didn’t put limits on how he went about getting what he wanted.” “How did he win you?” “Win me?” Emily snorted quietly. “He didn’t win me, he took me.” “You don’t mean …” “No. I mean he fought my brothers, antagonized my mother and father and damn near killed the fellow I was dating and anyone else who showed any interest in me.” Emily replenished her glass and smiled over at Blair. “But you’re not interested in my story, right?” Blair laughed and drained her glass. “That was a sucker punch and you know it. What do you want me to do, beg?” “Will you admit you can be interested in someone’s story without having any ulterior motive other than learning something about the grand ebb and flow of life?” “I will concede that point but you have to agree that there is no requirement to share just because someone is interested. Everyone has at least the right to hold their stories close.” “Deal.” “So, tell me what happened.” “He got frustrated because he was doing everything but standing on his head to get my attention. He was trying to be nice. That wasn’t easy for him and it was wearing him out. So one day he came out to the ranch and suggested we go riding. We laughed about it later because it took him two weeks to come up with the plan.” “Two weeks!” Emily laughed softly. “It was hard for him because it required him to try to look at the world from my perspective and figure out what I was interested in.” “Could he ride?” “Like he was born on a horse.” “Wes told me Eagle’s Hope was his horse.” “That horse barely let anyone touch him except C.C., until you.” “That’s why you invited me out here, isn’t it? You wanted to see if I was doing something strange to Eagle’s Hope.” Emily shook her head. “Wes told me what you said to him about your heart not being free.” Blair glanced away for a second and then took a sip of her drink. “It’s not.” “That’s why I wanted to get a chance to know you better. I’ve never heard anything I respected more. No lies or pretense, just the flat out truth.” “I’ve told a lie or two in my time.” Emily leaned forward. “Sounds like there’s a story there.” “Speaking of stories, what happened on your fateful ride?” Emily made a loud sighing sound but then smiled and leaned back against the couch. “We got caught in an awful storm, kind of like this one. The horses ran away and the river was threatening to flood. We didn’t think we were going to survive. We walked and talked, and tried to avoid getting struck by lightening or mauled by frightened wildlife and tried to stay warm. Somewhere along the way I saw the full measure of his courage and what he was willing to sacrifice for me. Without intending to, he reached in and touched my soul.” “Do you mean that literally?” “That’s an interesting question. You didn’t ask me what I was talking about. You wanted to know if I understood that it could happen literally. Something tells me that you know what I’m talking about.” Blair looked down into her glass that was empty then poured herself another drink. “It’s not an experience that you can forget.” Emily nodded. “I don’t know what other people mean when they use the term soul mate but to me it means when two people actually have the capacity to touch each other’s soul.” Emily rubbed her arm. “It’s an act that transforms you in a way the no one else really understands.” “He was your soul mate?” Emily nodded. “And I almost missed him. I almost let our superficial differences keep me from seeing what was important.” “What made you see it?” asked Blair softly. “He did. He felt it too and he fought for it using any and everything he could find or devise.” “Were you happy together?” “Some of the time. Did I love him? All of the time. And not a minute goes by that I don’t miss him. There will never be anyone else for me.” “Don’t say that. You’re still young.” “Once was enough. C.C. Ryder was one of a kind--a wild, self-centered, and selfish man who loved me. I’ll never find that again. I don’t want to find it again. That part of my life is over and this part of my life, romantically speaking, is just about marking time before I join him in hell.” Blair’s eyes flickered at the word ‘hell.’ She remembered Todd telling her that hell wouldn’t be so bad as long as she was there. “That sounds kind of sad,” she said, more to distract herself than anything else. “It’s not. I matter. There are things I want to do in this life—things I want to accomplish that I can do alone. I don’t regret one second I spent with Clay Cutter but life is precious. We didn’t waste our time together in this world and I won’t waste my remaining time. No one can convince me that he is not waiting for me in the next life, but if I had my choice he would still be beside me in this life.” Blair frowned then cocked her head to the right. “Are you saying that I’m wasting my time? How could you know that? The kind of love you and Clay Cutter had is rare.” “Maybe, but what’s really rare is having the courage to live it.” “I guess.” “Wes loves Sheri. That summer they were together he could hardly breathe, he was so crazy about her. I’m not saying they are soul mates because only they can say that but I do know she touched some part of him no one ever had before or has since.” “Then why…” “Because it scared him to death. Practically threw himself at that poor little Raelin Weeks girl. Poor child didn’t have a chance.” “Sheri thinks Raelin broke his heart.” “I don’t deny there was some pain but I think it was from him to her instead of the other way around.” “Do you think, if they hadn’t moved back to Creedyville, he and Raelin could have made it?” “Who knows? But I can tell you this, he came back to take care of me. Look at me. You’ve only known me for a few weeks but I bet you can answer this question. Do you think I need someone to take care of me?” “The bar?” “Place practically ran itself. I had good people in there.” “So are you saying you think he came back to be near Sheri?” “Only thing that makes sense. Been dancing around her for years. Couldn’t stay away from her but couldn’t get up the courage to commit to the relationship.” “But why? She’s obviously crazy about him.” “He’s more than crazy about her but the emotions she arouses in him are the wild, reckless, unpredictable feelings that remind him too much of his father.” “He told you that?” “I’m his mother! He’s not going to confide in me about something like that, but I recognize the signs. He is, after all, his father’s son.” “Did they get along?” “C.C. loved the ground Wes walked on but like I said he was a selfish man so, of course, he hurt Wes, usually without intending to do so.” “They had differences?” “More like Clash of the Titans. From the time Wes was ten or so, they were always at it about something or another. But they loved each other fiercely. Still those battles in the end made Wes change. The older he got the more he put faith in discipline and self-control.” Blair thought about Starr. She was her father’s daughter but at some point the battles would begin. Emily poured herself another drink and topped off Blair’s glass. “The last thing Wes wanted,” said Emily, “was to be wild, reckless and unpredictable like his father, but part of him is all those things.” Blair felt tear welling up in her eyes. There was no way she could erase Todd out of mind tonight. She could drink a case of whiskey and he would still be there in the middle of her consciousness beaconing her home. Emily looked over at her and obviously saw the tears but did not comment on them. Instead she said, “Sometimes I think Wes forgets how much I loved his father.” After five minutes or so of silence, Blair felt herself regaining her composure. There was something she needed to know. “Why didn’t you ever tell Sheri any of this?” “It wasn’t my story to tell.” Blair chuckled and wiped away the remaining tears. She got the message. At some point during the night as the storm raged outside, as the rain pelted the windows, as the wind made loud swooshing sounds, as the fire crackled and as the second bottle of bourbon got lower and lower, Blair told Emily her story. |