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The Tessarae Inn |
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Consequences in Blue Notes
CHAPTER 15 After dinner she and Travis sat in front of the fire on the floor. He was drinking bourbon but she was sipping a glass of wine and nursing that carefully. She had been drinking too much lately and she needed to keep her wits about her. Travis picked up the guitar and played a few cords. “I think your version of ‘Since I Fell For You’ was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard.” “It just came out that way. I don’t know where it came from.” “From your soul. When you sing, it’s like your soul takes on a physical presence.” She didn’t know what to say to that so she just looked into his eyes. He didn’t turn away. He held her gaze for a long time until he finally said, “Someone broke your heart, didn’t he?” Blair looked away then took a sip of her wine. Despite her moderation, she had had too much to drink to come up with a plausible lie, so she told him what she told Sheri. “Tore my heart right out of my chest then cut it into a thousand and one pieces and threw those pieces in a thousand different directions. So, I guess you could say he broke my heart.” “You loved him that much?” “Love him that much.” He nodded. “Got it.” Good. She didn’t want any misunderstandings here. “I heard your pain when you sang that song.” “But it’s not my story. I mean it didn’t happen to me that way. He didn’t leave…Well, he did but not like in the song and that was before….” She let her voice trail off. How could she or why would she try to explain Todd to a virtual stranger? “I think all great singers have the ability to channel their emotions into songs that touch them even if they haven’t lived the specifics of the song. It’s the ability to empathize with the intent and the driving emotions in the lyrics and the music.” Blair nodded and sipped her wine. “I’m not a great singer but when I heard that song a couple of months ago it just struck me as the saddest song I’d ever heard.” “Where were you?” She laughed lightly. “On a bus traveling through the night. A woman sat next to me and told me a man broke her heart then she started singing.” Travis’s eyes widened and Blair smiled at him. “It’s not like you think. She wasn’t making a scene or anything. She was real quiet but I could hear her. It’s like she was trying to sing her pain away.” “And she was showing you the way out.” Blair sat up straight. How did he know that was the way she felt? The intimacy that was developing between them made her uncomfortable. She needed to break the spell. “Why did you really bring me here?” Travis seemed to sense the shift in her mood and leaned away from her. “Well, the fact is that I want to record you? I’ve got a full professional studio on the first level of this house. My band is coming in the morning.” “I’m not interested.” Travis exhaled forcefully then put the guitar down. “Is there some reason why you have to make this difficult?” “A hard knock life?” “Please-e-e. I’ll put my childhood shit up against yours on any day of the week.” “I’ll take that challenge.” “My mother was a drug addict and raised me on the streets until she got so desperate that she tried to sell me for drugs.” “I didn’t even know my mother until I was an adult.” “My father took me from my mother then put me in foster care.” “My sperm donor—I can’t say father because I’ve never met the man—raped my mother and he didn’t give a damn where I was raised.” “Relatives?” “The state.” Travis opened his hands and smiled. “Look at us. We both survived major shit and lived to sing about it.” “I guess that’s one way to look at it.” Travis picked up the guitar and strummed it softly. He began to sing in a quiet voice, “I stayed when I should have gone. Loving you broke my heart but leaving you killed my soul…” She recognized the song. It had been number one on the charts for weeks a year or so ago and he won a Grammy for it. She remembered seeing him on TV accepting the award and how much his acceptance speech and performance impressed her. And now she couldn’t deny that she was amazed that she was sitting here with Jake Travis and he was singing that song to her. “Join me,” he said during the bridge. And she did. Their voices blended beautifully together. They sang a few more songs then they talked for hours. They shared stories about growing up on the hard side of life. They discussed politics. He told her about the record industry and the price of fame. She told him about Melador and The Sun without using names. With each topic she was amazed at how much they had in common. After an hour or so, she felt as if she had known him her whole life. When she told him how she used to design jewelry, he eyes grew wide as she described her designs. He left the room and returned with a ring. When he placed the ring in her hand it was as if time stood still for a few seconds. It was one of her rings. “It was a gift. I have no idea where it came from. I think it’s a sign. Kismet.” The moment was too intense. She stood up and handed him back the ring then told him that she needed to go to bed. He shifted his gaze to the floor but he didn’t try to make her stay. Later in the night he came into her room. She was not asleep. She watched him approach the bed. He bent down beside her. “Are you asleep.” “No.” “Can I stay?” “No.” “There’s something between us, you know.” “Maybe in another lifetime.” “Are you sure about tonight, Caitlin?” She sat up and looked at him. “My name’s not Caitlin Shaw. I have a daughter…” Blair stopped herself. “I have a son and a daughter waiting for me. I’m not looking for another life. I’m trying to get home.” “My name’s not Jake Travis.” He sat on the edge of the bed and took her hand. He rubbed his fingers along hers. “Half the stuff in the world is invented. What I’m feeling has nothing to do with superficial things like names or even with what your life was like before.” “My heart is not free.” He shook his head slowly from side to side. “You’ve got a choice in that. Stay in the here and now with me. Let all of that pain go, at least for a little while.” “I can’t.” “You won’t.” “Okay, I won’t.” “Are you sure?” “Yes.” He rocked his head back. “Will you at least sing with me tomorrow?” She looked him in the eye for a few seconds then said, “One or two songs, that’s it.” He stood up and walked to the door. He turned back and looked at her. Even in the dim light of the room she could see the desire in his eyes. She looked down at her hands to break the gaze. “I hope he has some idea of how lucky he is.” |