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The Tessarae Inn |
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Consequences in Blue Notes
CHAPTER 18 Blair studied her backpack. It was sitting in the middle of the bed in Sheri’s guest room. She hadn’t even unpacked. Todd was right about one thing. She needed to go home but was this the right way? If she had stayed with Travis or gone on to Clearwater, she wouldn’t have to make this decision right now. Todd was arrogant enough to think she couldn’t give him the slip again but, in fact, he didn’t understand that she wasn’t trying to disappear the last time. She knew he would come. All she wanted to do was to slow him down. If she wanted to disappear she could have and he never would have found her. “Blair, are you ready?” She turned around. Todd was standing in the doorway. She shook her head and he walked into the room. “I’m not ready to leave,” she said. For a moment they locked gazes but she was determined not to blink. He exhaled loudly and looked around the bedroom. “Well, I can understand how it would be difficult to leave this nearly perfect exemplar of Early Americana Gothic. I mean look at this place. Is there any lace left in the whole town?” Blair crossed her arms over her chest and watched him closely. He closed the door and turned the lock. He pulled out his cell phone and hit speed dial. “Find yourself a room. We’re staying here tonight.” She cocked her head to the right but there was no use pretending that she didn’t know what was about to happen. He reached into his jacket pocket then pulled out his hand balled into a fist. He extended his hand to her then rolled his hand over and opened it. Her rings rested in the palm of his hand. For what felt like a long time she stared at them. Finally, she reached out, took the rings and slipped them on her finger. He moved close to her and touched her face with both of his hands then kissed her so slowly that she felt as if she was drunk. Todd pulled back and said, “I missed you, Blair. I missed you so much it hurt.” She slowly unbuttoned his shirt. He looked at her with half-closed eyes. When she touched his bare chest she felt him tremble and a wave of fire started in her chest and spread downward. He pulled her closer to him and kissed her again. When she felt him touch her arms, she closed her eyes and raised her arms. He lifted her sweater over her head. When she opened her eyes he was looking at her with such pure desire that she felt all of her defenses surrender. By the time he lifted her up and carried her to the bed she was so lost in him and the moment that nothing else mattered. They made love three or more times during the night. Blair actually lost count. When they were not making love they kept their bodies wrapped around each other as if neither one of them could bear being out of physical contact, even for a minute. Her body responded to him as if she had been in a desert dying of thirst and he was an oasis found. At 3:00 am, however, she woke up as she had done for weeks. Todd was asleep so she eased out of bed as carefully as possible. She took a shower and as the water cascaded along her body, she found herself crying. Perfect moments of bliss with Todd always seemed to precede long spells of soul devastating pain. What was coming next? The night she spent at Emily’s ranch, Emily asked her why she chose to love him. The question surprised her because for such a long time the last thing she saw in her relationship with Todd was choice. But choice was everywhere, even this last time. She chose to believe he wouldn’t hurt her again even though he stated his intentions in his vows to her. She chose to believe that he would be willing to share her with another man’s child and would not move heaven and earth to get that child out of her life. She chose to believe he would fall in love with the baby of strangers. Why? She didn’t want to see the truth because the highs with him were so high that anything else was only a pale imitation of happiness. Blair pulled her hair back and clasped it with her right hand. The water flowed in waves along her body but her mind refused to cut off. Were the highs with Todd worth the lows? Emily told her that if loving him was worth the price then she couldn’t afford to waste one minute more than she needed to mend her heart. “If I could have Clay Cutter in this world with me, I’d give anything. Your soul needs to find peace, but don’t waste time.” Blair released her hair and moved her hands along her flat stomach. Wasted time. She already knew more than she wanted to know about wasted time. She lost Todd once and believed he was never coming back. It made her physically sick to think about how much wasted time there was after Ireland—Tea, Max, the battles over Starr, all of the schemes to hurt her… So much wasted time. Yet, despite everything that happened afterwards she had to remember that he did come back. He fought the demons of hell to come back to her. And if it hadn’t been for Starr, the fact of the matter is that she would have died too—probably thrown herself over a damn cliff in Ireland or wrapped herself around a telephone pole—trying to get to him. Starr kept her in this world and, despite the rage and pain she felt when she left him after finding out about Jack, she prayed that Starr would keep him safe, too. Blair leaned back against the shower wall. She couldn’t go back, though, until she could make the leap of faith necessary to forgive him. She had to get rid of enough of the anger and the pain to be able to fully commit to her life with him without qualifiers or disclaimers. She refused to go back only to have Starr think she would have to watch her for every sign of displeasure or discomfort, afraid that her mother would leave again. The shower curtain moved then opened. Todd stared at her with lust in his eyes then stepped into the shower with her. He soaped his hands, stepped behind her and then ran his hands along her body. The sensation was so unbearably sweet and hot that she found herself crying out from the pure pleasure. When she turned and kissed him she felt as if she was drowning in him but this time she didn’t want to be rescued. He made promises to her but as it turned out he was breaking them even before they made it out of the bedroom. “Blair, I am not going to some damn diner.” “Fine, but I have to go to work.” “Work! Hell, no, you don’t. We have to go home. Starr and Jack are waiting for us.” “My timetable, remember?” He growled and looked away but he stepped out of her way. “I’ll come in later. I want to call our children and tell them I’m okay. Do you have a message for them?” She tightened her lips then reached around him and grabbed her jacket. “I told you that I want to handle them in my own way. I will accept the price I have to pay for leaving them but I will make my peace with them my way.”
Sheri was looking out of the door of the diner when she drove up and was next to the car then inside before she had a chance to blink. “So what happened? Wes was pissed when he came back. Are you okay?” Blair ran her fingers along the edges of the steering wheel. “I’m fine.” “I was coming over there if you didn’t show up this morning. I haven’t seen Wes like that in years. He was fired up and raging. Damn, he was hot.” Blair turned her head toward Sheri and smiled slowly. “I suspect he put all that released pent-up emotion to good use.” Sheri blushed. “This is a family restaurant. I’ll tell you about it later.” Blair laughed and opened the car door. Sheri jumped out as well. They walked to the front door with their arms around each other. The routine of setting up the diner was actually comforting. She was glad that Todd hadn’t come with her. It gave her time to think. He’d come by soon enough because she knew that there was no way he was going to miss an opportunity to see what she had been doing for the last few weeks and with whom. Five hours later the diner was still jumping from an unexpected breakfast crowd rush but things were beginning to slow down. She had her back to the door talking through the service window, when a sudden wave of silence swept through the diner. Maddog looked past her shoulder and she turned around to see what he was looking at. Todd was standing in the middle of the diner. He spread his legs slightly, cocked his head to the right and stretched out his hand to her. “You forgot your rings.” She brushed her hands on her apron and walked around the counter. She reached for the rings. He shook his head. “Give me your hand.” She stretched out her hand and he slipped the rings on her finger. “This is MY wife,” he said loudly as he looked around the diner, “and I think all of you need to know that.” Everyone remained silent until Emily walked to Blair’s side and stretched out her hand to Todd. “Nice to meet you. Will you join me at my table?” He glanced at Blair and she nodded. Todd coughed then said, “Yeah. Whatever.” The noise level in the diner picked up quickly. Everyone was stealing glances at Todd and then at her. Blair went about her tasks as if nothing unusual was happening. Sheri slipped beside her and said, “That’s one fine man but he’s got a scary as hell vibe going to the max.” Blair sighed and reached around her to give Maddog an order for what she knew Todd would want for breakfast. “You sure he’ll want this?” “He’s my husband, Maddog. I know him better than almost anyone else. At the very least, I know what he likes for breakfast.” Maddog harrumphed and started preparing the order. Sheri was leaning on the counter openly watching Todd and Emily. She turned when Blair approached and said, “Better get over there before Emily has him skinned, quartered and dressed for market.”
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