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The Tessarae Inn |
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Consequences in Blue Notes
CHAPTER 5 It was evening by the time Rae Cummings floated into the room on some kind of phosphorous vapor backlit from the light in the hall. She was actually glad to see her because it meant Todd had moved on to the final step in his game plan. She was feeling better with each passing memory. She was already to the point where she struggled into Todd’s house on crutches only to be insulted by Tea while Todd laughed in the background. At the time, the memory seared itself shut from the sheer magnitude of the pain but now she was prying it open and taking stabs at it, digging into the wounded flesh until the pain felt new. Rae turned on a light and then closed the door. The chair Viki sat in earlier was still sitting next to the bed. Rae sat down and Blair closed her eyes but still felt Rae’s stare almost physically pressing in on her. Blair opened her eyes slowly and said, “The light hurts my eyes.” Rae nodded and moved to the dresser and turned on the lamp, which only had a 25-watt bulb in it then turned off the ceiling light. The resulting light was soft and almost soothing. The room harbored deep shadows and only a small pocket of light and she did feel more comfortable. Rae moved the chair out of her line of sight and, although she couldn’t see Rae, she heard her sit down. “Todd asked me to talk to you. He’s worried.” “Todd lies.” “Why are you in bed, Blair?” “Because I can be.” “Are you tired?” “Yes.” “Are you sleepy?” “Yes.” “Are you in pain?” The question caught her off guard. How do you describe to someone the kind of pain she was feeling? It was as if someone cut her heart out piece by piece with a dull knife and with a great deal of patience. She didn’t just hurt; she was drowning in waves of pain that washed over her body again and again. Every time she came up for air, another wave struck her and knocked her underwater again—alone, taking in water, gasping for air in a darkness darker than night. How do you describe that to someone? “Are you in pain, Blair?” Blair pulled the cover tighter to her neck. This was not going well. Why was that damn question throwing her so much? Why couldn’t she say, no, or even, yes—whatever it would take to shut Rae up and send her packing? “Tell me about the pain, Blair.” “I can’t.” “Then tell me about the anger.” “I’m not angry.” “Yes, you are.” “I said I wasn’t.” “You’re a liar.” She shot straight up in the bed and turned until she could see Rae. “What do you know about it? What the hell do you know about anything? You let that kook Allison Perkins out and look what she did to Viki. You’re a damn joke.” “Why are you so angry, Blair?” She crawled on top of the covers then stood up. The bed rocked slightly and she felt as if she was surfing a wave. She held her breath and tried not to think for a few minutes. She didn’t want to talk to this woman. She’d already decided that she had to handle this alone. She’d made too many mistakes trusting people lately. Too many damn mistakes. “Tell me about the anger, Blair. What makes you think you have a right to be angry about anything?” Blair bent her knees and wrapped her arms across her chest and held onto her sides. “He lied to me.” “Todd lied to you? You’re not going to tell me the fact that he lies surprises you? If he lied to you, you got what you deserved.” She screamed the word “No” so loudly that she saw Rae jump but Rae came right back at her. “Tell me why the hell you have a right to be so damn angry.” A surge of pressure built up in her head. She felt as if she was going to explode. Finally, she couldn’t hold it back. She opened her mouth and screamed, “He told me my baby was dead.” Blair collapsed into a squatting position on the bed and began to rock back and forth. “He gave my baby away and told me he was dead. He threw him away like nothing about him mattered. He was my baby and he threw him away like yesterday’s garbage.” Rae gasped but seemed to quickly regain her composure. She stood up and walked toward her slowly. “Are you saying you didn’t deserve that? Are you saying that no one has a right to treat you that way?” Something inside of Blair seemed to break. There was a huge surge of emotions that raged forward—anger, guilt, shame, pain…Tears dropped from her eyes first as if a sprinkle then before she knew what happened she was sobbing so furiously that she couldn’t see. She wasn’t sure when Rae took her in her arms and began to rock her but slowly she became aware of the soothing voice telling her to let it out. She wanted to want to pull away but she couldn’t. She couldn’t stop it now if she wanted to. Rae stayed with her for another three hours and they talked and cried and talked until she felt empty. Rae changed the sheets on the bed while she showered and then put on a nightgown. She crawled into bed and this time she finally slept. Chapter
6 Consequences In Blue
Notes FAN FICTION
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