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The Tessarae Inn |
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Consequences in Blue Notes
CHAPTER 8 C. C. Ryder was a typical Western style bar. The club was somewhat expansive with a massive bar along the right side and a stage area at the far end of the room. There were tables scattered throughout except in the area designated as the dance floor. Sheri dragged her to a table near the front but to the right of the stage. She would have preferred to stay closer to the back but the table Sheri chose was dimly lit and off the beaten path enough to give her a measure of reassurance. She’d have a drink and then slip out unnoticed and go back to the comfort of her “lonely room.” Sheri ordered two beers for them from the waitress who Blair knew was named Dottie. Blair glanced around the bar and was surprised at the number of people she recognized. More people passed through Maddog’s than she originally thought. Sheri suddenly began to twitter like a bird in the sites of an alligator or some other predator. Before she could ask her what was wrong, a beer was placed in front of her and one in front of Sheri along with a basket of peanuts. Blair looked up to thank Dottie and instead found herself staring into the face of a man who she knew had been called handsome too many times in his life. He put the empty tray on the table next to theirs and sat down. He reached his hand out to her, “I’m Wes Ryder. Welcome to my place.” Oh, crap. Showtime. She smiled and shook his hand. “Nice to meet you. I’m Caitlin Shaw.” “Cat to her friends,” said Sheri. Wes released her hand and turned toward Sheri. He smiled broadly. “Looking good, Sheri. What you been up to?” “I don’t think this is the time or the place to discuss it.” He laughed loudly at what Blair assumed was a private joke. She felt herself exhaling. Wes obviously liked Sheri a lot. Although he was flirting with Blair, she sensed that he did that with all of the women who came into his place. Wes unfolded himself from the chair and stood up. “I need to get back to the bar. Always good to see new faces here and always good to see you, Sheri.” Blair could almost hear Sheri’s heart doing a flip. She wanted to freeze time for Sheri. To save this moment for her before Wes broke her heart. And he was going to break her heart if not by viciousness then by carelessness. She had learned that lesson the hard way. When Dottie came over to see if they wanted anything else. Blair ordered a scotch on the rocks and by the second one she felt a soft buzz--nothing loud, just a gentle sway and a smooth turn. She hadn’t had a drink since she hit the road. Until now she was too afraid of letting down her guard, but tonight it was more important to keep her mind from wandering where she didn’t want it to go. The bar slowly took on a warm, friendly haze. It was amateur night and karaoke night so everyone seemed to be in a forgiving mood. Sheri had already sung her karaoke version of “I Will Survive” and Dottie had stopped taking orders to sing “Fire and Rain.” Neither Gloria Gaynor nor James Taylor had a thing to worry about. When the spotlight was pointed at her, for a moment she thought she was having a hallucination and then she thought she was flat out drunk but the truth was worse than either of those. It was Wes pointing her out as a newcomer who was “required” to come up on stage and sing. The room erupted into chants of “Come on Cat, do your duty. Come on Cat, do your duty.” Sheri pulled her out of her chair and pushed her toward the stage. Then Wes reached out and pulled her onto the stage. He handed her the karaoke mic but she pushed it away. If she had to sing, she would sing. Wes handed her the other microphone then stepped back. She pulled a stool forward and sat down with the microphone between her hands. “I want all of you to remember you asked for this. No complaints accepted.” The crowd laughed. Someone shouted out, “Stop stalling, Cat. Sing us something.” Blair searched her mind for a song. Nothing felt right but then without any conscious decision on her part she closed her eyes and began to sing the song that had been running through her mind every since the night on the bus when the woman in the wrinkled dress sang her heart out. “Love brings such misery and pain. I guess I’ll never be the same. Since I fell for you. First you love me. Then you snub me. But what can I do. I’m so in love with you. I guess I’ll never see the light. I get the blues most every night. Since I fell for you.” She wasn’t consciously aware that she was crying until she finished and she felt the tears on her hands. There was total silence in the bar except for the whirling sounds of ceiling fans and the furnace knocking in the background. She opened her eyes and brushed away the tears as best she could. She stood up and placed the microphone on the stool and just as she stepped toward the edge of the stage, someone began to clap. A second person joined in and suddenly the bar erupted into shouts and cheers. She looked out over the crowd astonished by the reaction. Sheri ran up beside her and hugged her. “That was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard,” she whispered. “Everyone was just stunned by your voice and that song…Well, did you see Maddog? He was crying! I have never seen this place react like that to anyone. Everybody stopped and listened to you.” Blair felt slightly woozy and she could hardly hear what Sheri was saying. “I need to get out of here.” Sheri nodded and put her arms around her shoulders and waved to the crowd then grabbed their coats and led her out of the bar. People nodded and smiled as they passed through the crowd but no one tried to stop them or touch her. Blair felt panicky but Sheri held her tight and before she knew it, they were outside in the crisp, cold night air. Once in the car, she finally felt herself relax. In a few minutes she would be back in her room and maybe tonight she could sleep without the memories. ======= Blair felt the car slow down and pull over to the curb. Good. They must be back at the diner. When she opened her eyes, however, they were in front of what she assumed was Sheri’s house. She started to protest but Sheri said, “I don’t want to hear it.” Sheri opened the car door. “You are going to stay here tonight.” She didn’t have enough energy to fight so she followed Sheri into the house. The living room was large and spacious despite several large overstuffed chairs and a mammoth couch. The sofa and chairs were upholstered in a yellow floral pattern, the walls were covered with pictures and the end tables, coffee table and curio shelves were loaded with objects of dubious worth but obvious sentimental value—framed pictures, figurines, a child’s art objects, and so on. The room was so relentlessly gay and upbeat that Blair felt as if her head was spinning. “This is where I grew up. My parents are dead and I’m an only child so I ended up with the house and the car but I’d give it all up to have them back even for one day.” She felt the tears again. Would Starr be able to forgive her one day for going away? All of the emotions she worked so hard to keep at bay were threatening to burst to the surface and the fight drained her. She quickly sat on the couch so she could hide her face and sank into what felt like a warm embrace, which made her cry even more. Sheri watched her but didn’t say anything and then walked into another room. Blair heard kitchen sounds. She wiped the stupid tears away then closed her eyes. She was just tired and needed to sleep. “Stretch your legs out, Cat,” said Sheri as she tugged Blair gently. “It’s okay. I lay on the couch like that all the time.” Sheri placed a soft, wool throw over her legs. “It feels like a mother’s touch.” Blair nodded and thought about Addie for a second. She wondered if anyone had even bothered to tell her that she was gone. Sheri came back into the room and turned on the stereo. Bonnie Raitt's voice eased softly into the room. Sheri sat on the floor with her back leaning against the front of the couch and began to sing along. Blair smiled because Sheri couldn’t carry a tune, even if someone put it in a hand basket. After a short while, Sheri fell silent then said, “That man broke your heart, didn’t he?” She was too tired and emotional to lie. “Into so many pieces, I haven’t found all of them yet and I haven’t even started to piece together the ones I do have.” “But you don’t want to talk about it, do you?” “I can’t.” Sheri exhaled loudly then drew her knees to her chest and hugged them. “I know how it feels when someone stomps on your heart like it was yesterday’s garbage.” “Wes?” “Am I that obvious?” “What happened?” “You’ve seen him. All through high school he had girls left and right. Every damn body but me. We were just friends. Then the summer after his junior year in college we started dating.” “Was it serious?” “I thought so then. Hell, I still think so. It was just so intense. We had something magical. We just connected in a way that’s almost scary, as if we were meant to be together. But I was wrong because he went back to college and that was that. Never called. Never wrote. And he…” Sheri’s voice faltered. Blair knew where this story was going. “He met someone else?” “Raelin Weeks,” spat Sheri. “Bitch. The bastard never even told me about it. His mother came over and said he was getting married." She touched Sheri gently on the shoulder. “That really stinks.” "It was just a month or so after my parents died in a train accident. I mean she was real nice, you know, Cat, but...” "I am so sorry, Sheri." Sheri drew her knees up to her chest and circled them with her arms. “Hurt like hell. It still hurts. For a long time I couldn’t even separate the pain. One minute I was standing on solid ground and the next there was nothing but quicksand under my feet.” Blair shuddered. She knew that feeling too well. The memories she locked away threatened to flood back but she forced her mind to concentrate on Sheri. “Have you ever talked to him about it?” “When he came back to Creedyville, he acted like there was never anything between us. I pretended the same thing and nothing has changed.” Blair leaned back, closed her eyes and listened to the music. There was plenty of pain in the world to go around. “He and Raelin still together?” “No, Creedyville wasn’t good enough for her. When Wes’ father died, a couple years after he graduated, they came here so Wes could take over the bar and look after his mother’s affairs.” “Emily?” “That’s right. I forgot. She comes into the diner sometimes. Anyway, Raelin broke his heart and he hasn’t gotten over it yet but he finally had to let it go.” “Divorce?” “Yeah. That’s why he was gone when you first came. He was off settling the last of it legally.” “So their breakup was recent?” “No. Actually, she’s been gone from here almost three years now." "Three years?" "Yeah, but they didn’t bother to divorce until recently and only then because she wanted to marry some fancy pants lawyer in Denver, I think.” “Well, has Wes been dating anyone during that time?” “No, and believe me half of the females in Creedyville and Clearwater, unmarried and otherwise, have tried to interest him at one time or another, including me. For all the good that's done. He's not interested, especially in me.” She could hear the heartbreak behind every word Sheri spoke. Wes had really hurt Sheri and despite her usual upbeat persona, the wounds had still not healed. "Are you all right?" "Oh, yeah. I'm fine." For a long time she just let the soft music hug them as she watched Sheri slowly ease back into that emotional place that allowed her to survive. Blair understood about the necessity of a disguise more than most people. Sometimes there was too much pain and loss to acknowledge head-on. "Do you think men have any idea how much pain they cause us?” Sheri shook her head. “Nope, but most times I don’t think they care.” "I guess not." Sheri stood up. “Enough talk about my broken heart. There are more important things in the world. I’ll put some water on for hot chocolate and we can talk about what kind of costume you’d like to wear for the Mud Pie Days Festival.”
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