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The Tessarae Inn |
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Dreams In Amber Refrains CHAPTER 11 Blair kissed Jack on each cheek then bounced him so that he laughed merrily. Her baby boy was growing so fast and getting so big she had a powerful sense that if she wasn’t careful she’d would turn around in the space of tomorrow and see him walking out the door fully grown off to make a life for himself. How could she afford to miss one more second that she could have with him? She had already lost too much time. “How could you even think about turning down Travis? This is a once in a lifetime thing, Cat. I know you’re happy now but I suspect you will regret this if you don’t give yourself this chance.” “How can I regret that my children are happy and so is my husband? And Travis doesn’t really need me to sing that song.” “What about a little stardust touching you? Are you trying to tell me you don’t want to experience just once how it feels to sing in front of that many people? Remember you told me about how you feel when you sing. Is reaching for a little ego-thrill a crime? It’s okay to want something for yourself, Cat.” “I think Aunt Sheri’s right, Mommy! I’d love to see you on TV. All of my friends will be so jealous.” “Starr, your daddy and I were already gone for a week. If I sing that would mean more time apart.” “Only a little more time and me and Jack could stay here. I wouldn’t mind and neither would he.” Blair glanced at Sheri for some backup but all she got was the sight of her nodding her head in unison with Starr. “Star-r-r-r-r-r-r.” “It’s Claire. It’s time for rehearsal. Can I tell Mrs. Hastings that I’m staying and will be here for the play?” Blair studied Starr for a moment then said, “Are you sure you want to stay here for that long?” “Yes, please-e-e-e-e-e-e. Let us stay.” Blair laughed and then said, “All right, Sweetheart, if you’re sure but I haven’t decided to go with Travis or...” “So I get to stay whether you go on TV or not?” “Yes. I need to run it by your father but I can’t believe he’d object.” “Whoopeeee. But go on TV, mommy. That would be so cool.” “Star-r-r-r-r-r, come on.” “Can I go, Mommy? Mrs. Briscoe has the car running. I can hear it.” “Not until you hug me and promise to be safe. We’ll be looking for you to be home in two hours.” Starr hugged her tightly and then kissed Jack, who called her name over and over and reached out to her with chubby hands. She finally hugged Sheri and then she was gone. Blair stood in front of the large bay window in Sheri’s living room and watched as Starr rushed to the Briscoe station wagon and jumped in. She could see Angie Briscoe telling Starr to buckle up her seatbelt. Starr and Claire seemed like two colts bursting with energy and laughter. Once Starr was settled, she, Claire and Angie all waved at her then the car glided away. Blair walked back to the couch, eased down and pulled Jack on her lap. “My child is very happy here, Sheri.” “Not as happy as when she is with you and Todd, I know, but Mayberry as he likes to call us will do in a pinch.” “How can you manage a newborn, a toddler and an eight-year old and not lose your mind?” “This is something I never knew until I had CC. I was just born to be a mom. I love it, Cat. I love everything about it. I love having a baby and a toddler around. And Starr is just the most delicious icing on the cake.” “Earth to Sheri. I know how hard it is to take care of one child much less three.” “That’s just it. I didn’t say it was easy, I just said I love it. Having the children around makes me happy. And Starr spends a lot of time with Emily and Angie Brisco, Claire’s mom, you’ve met her, well, she’s ready to baby-sit at the drop of a hat. And I’d trust her with my life, Cat. I’ve never known a sweeter woman. Mike was lucky as hell he married her and not that witch….” “I’m scared, Sheri. I don’t want to make the wrong choice. Todd and I are in such a good place. I don’t want to ruin it.” Sheri flopped down on the couch next to her. “You can’t live in fear, Cat. It makes you do crazy things. You told me you think that’s what happened with him before. You both got scared. You both did crazy things. Him especially. The happier you are the more you think you have to lose and the scarier things may seem. Just try to make the best decision you can.” “You think I should do it, don’t you?” “Hell, yes. First, we aren’t talking about any long-term commitment here. What is it? Another week or so then it’s all over?” That was true. “Second, this is the damn Grammy Awards, Ca-t-t-t. A national audience, millions of people. The likelihood of you having this chance again is between zero and nothing.” She couldn’t lie to herself. Sheri was right. A part of her was thrilled at the possibility of singing in front of that many people. “And third, but not least, this is Jake Travis we are talking about. Swoon. I know your eyes are clouded by Todd but let me tell you something you may not know. Jake Travis is beautiful in case you haven’t noticed. You two look gorgeous together with all that blonde hair and hot bodies.” “Sheri!” She tried not to let herself think about Travis that way. “Okay, how about this then? Everybody ought to have the pleasure of seeing you and hearing you sing together at least once. So, I’d say go. Do it. When you two sing it’s like magic.” There was magic all right but all of the things Piper told her had made her uncomfortable. Not to mention what Travis said. She didn’t want to matter that much to Travis. She called Todd and told him not to bother about coming for her then had Travis drive her to Sheri’s. She hadn’t spoken to Travis since he dropped her off last night. “It’s not as simple as that,” she said quickly to keep from dwelling on Travis. “Besides being away from the children, I’ve been away from JStarr for over a week now.” “Talked to Toni this morning. She said everything is fine.” “You talked to Toni?” “She called looking for you. We chitted, we chatted. She thinks you ought to take Travis up on his offer, too. Thinks the publicity will be great for JStarr.” “Publicity may be great for my business but not for my private life.” Sheri immediately sat up straight. “Then don’t do it. All joking aside. Don’t do it unless you trust Travis to manage it the way he promised. I guess it comes down to whether or not you trust Travis.” Starr was happy here. There was no denying that. In two weeks the play would be over and the pull of Llanview would probably be too strong for Starr to resist but for another two weeks, nothing would make her happier than staying in Creedyville. Jack was happy anywhere as long as Starr was around. Her children were safe, happy and blossoming. It was not exactly a boost to her ego but her children would be fine for another week or so as long as they had regular doses of visits from she and/or Todd. And the truth was that she really wanted to sing with Travis on the show. How much she wanted it was a little disconcerting. The thought of standing in front of all those people made her happy. She wanted it but not at the risk of losing any of what she had now with Todd. Nothing was worth that risk. It had been a good decision to make Travis bring her to Sheri’s because she needed the space to think. And there was one person she really needed to talk to. Blair carefully strapped Jack into the car seat then drove the few blocks to Main Street. Even before she could get to the door of the diner it swung open and she heard Maddog yelling: Dottie! Dottie, come on out here. One of the grands is here! Blair released Jack’s hand and he wobbled right into Maddog’s open arms and grinned. Maddog scooped up Jack, nuzzled him then kissed her on the cheek. They bustled into the diner together only to be greeted by galls of laughter and whooping. “You the only one that lets that old coot get close enough to kiss ‘um,” yelled Harvey. “Better watch out, Dottie. He’s out here getting his battery recharged.” Everyone laughed and yelled out greetings to her then Dottie rushed over, hugged her and then took Jack from Maddog, who made a general grumbling sounds and hand gestures to his loyal customers then rushed back into the kitchen. Rufus Filbert yelled for a refill and four teenagers suddenly careened in behind Blair. She took Jack from Dottie. “Looks like you’re about to get really busy.” “Yeah,” said Dottie. “And Carmen is sick and it’s just me and Maddog. Got to go take care of Rufus. You know what a fussbucket he is. He’ll sit in here all afternoon telling me how upset he is with everything here. You know what I say: Eat at home.” Blair laughed then looked around. She was thrilled to see that her favorite booth was empty. She got a booster seat and settled Jack in just as she saw Emily walk through the door. She waved her over and then stood up so they could hug. For some reason, hugging Emily always made her feel like she had come home. “I’m so glad you called me. It’s been a while since we’ve had a chance to talk.” “You mean without a pair of eight-year old ears tuned into everything.” “She is such a wild, wonderful creature. I love having her around. Thank you for that. You and Outlaw sure make beautiful children.” Blair sighed then reached across the table and held Emily’s hand for a second. “Something tells me you’ve got a story or two to tell me.” Blair filled Emily in on what happened in Key West and about the dilemma Travis was posing for her. As always Emily listened intently, delivered pointed commentary and seemed to recognize the heart of the matter better than anyone else. “Go do something that will quiet your mind and let you think,” said Emily. “I’ll keep Li’l Outlaw occupied.” Blair smiled at her. How did Emily know that she needed some activity that would let her get out of herself, keep her busy at the same time and focused? When she offered to help with the lunch crowd, Dottie almost kissed her full on the mouth. For two hours she luxuriated in the ballet of balancing orders, serving, collecting money and chatting with half of Creedyville. Emily and Jack shared their booth with a variety of regulars including Greenie, half of the David Dukes Boys, and Mike Briscoe. Wes dropped in to pick up lunch for Sheri and insisted on taking Jack back to the house. Sheri, it seemed, missed him. The ebb and flow of Creedyville soothed her soul and quieted her mind. By the time most of the lunch patrons had cleared out of the diner, Blair knew what she needed to do and why. Chapter 12 Dreams In Amber Refrains FAN FICTION |