Suite C
LOVE HAS BEEN ROUGH ON ME
Sometimes love hurts. Sometimes it feels like a river of pain and peril not worth the struggle to stay afloat. Sometimes love tears at your soul. This suite is dedicated to the great Etta James who sang with so much clarity and pain: “Have mercy…Have mercy on me, baby. Love has been rough on me.” This room embraces the pain and states the obvious: Sometimes love is hard on a person.
RAMIFICATIONS NO MORE RAIN REFLECTIONS
Ramifications:
Todd and Blair return from Mexico but they are both haunted by the multiple baby lies. Blair thinks the baby is dead and she can’t help punishing herself for the decisions she made. What if she had told Todd the truth? Why did she decide to go to a relatively remote area to have the baby? How can she keep the truth from Todd? Even though the baby is dead, doesn’t Todd have a right to know that it was his son that was lost?
Todd has gotten rid of the baby and in his mind the path is now clear for him to get what he wants, the way he wants it. He is haunted, however, by his decisions and the lies he has piled up to keep Blair from finding out the truth. He is holding on to the fantasy that now everything will fall into place and that he, Starr and Blair will finally be a family again. Blair, however, is not cooperating. She is with Todd physically but emotionally she is lost. She is devastated by the loss of the baby and a part of her has shut down. Todd is terrified that she is “gone” and is not going to reconnect again. His solution is to press her to get over the baby and to marry him just like they had planned originally—“If you’re gone, it is time for you to come home.” Todd gets her to agree to the wedding but in the end she can’t go through with it. She has to tell him the truth about the baby. “It was your baby, Todd.” This slideshow documents Todd and Blair’s emotional turmoil. “If you’re gone, it’s time to come home,” sings matchbox twenty (Mad Season).
No More Rain:
Todd and Blair have played chicken right to the edge of the cliff. Todd has taken Starr and sent her away to school but refuses to tell Blair where she is. Todd is also working with Gabrielle and Asa to set up Blair to take a fall for Asa’s supposed murder. Blair is determined to marry Max because in her mind it will legally protect her unborn child. She has convinced herself that there is no other way that she can keep Todd from taking the baby away from her.
Todd and Blair run into each other at the Palace. Blair rubs it in that she is going to marry Max and Todd tries to act as if it doesn’t matter as he zings her with the fact that Starr won’t be there. Some part of Blair is giddy with what she sees as her impending freedom. Once she is married to Max her unborn child will be protected and then she can dump Max and work on getting Starr back. But what is she supposed to tell her heart? She loves Todd despite everything but it is a love that has hurt her like hell. In this slideshow, she finds comfort by telling herself that she will gain a measure of peace once her plan goes through. There will be no more pain, “no more rain,” sings Angie Stone (Black Diamond).
Reflections:
During “Live Week,” May 13-17 2002, Blair finally learned about the “Dead Baby Lie,” yet Todd fought to the end to keep his secret. He convinced her that Nelly, the baby’s supposed biological mother, wanted Jack back, which prompted Blair to finally agree to go on the run with Todd and the children. Blair goes to get the children and agrees to meet Todd at the airport. As she is waiting for him, however, Blair runs into Alex Olanov and learns that she was the bone marrow donor for Jack. “As before,” Alex states, “I was a perfect match.” The TRUTH finally hits Blair in a way that cannot be denied. She takes the children home and calls Sam, who confirms her suspicions. She sends Sam away and waits for Todd. Faced with undeniable proof, Todd finally confesses that he did give the baby away but then reminds Blair that she promised to forgive him anything. He tries to get her to understand, “There was no way I could raise Max’s baby...” The weight of an ugly truth folds itself around Blair like a blanket of pain—the man she loves more than anything in the world has betrayed her in a way she never could have imagined. What is there left for her to say?
I’ve always loved the haunting echoes of pain in this instrumental and I couldn’t think of a song with lyrics that worked for me right now. This Regina Carter piece, Reflections (Something for Grace), is just a violin and a piano but as I listened to it in my mind I could hear the strands of T&B’s relationship stretching almost to the point of breaking as Blair confronts Todd about the lie. The song offers no solution and simply documents T&B’s pain, which without a doubt is destined to get worse before things get better, yet making this slideshow made me feel better.
Cry
In September 2002, Todd risked almost certain death at sea just to get back to Blair but almost two months later, November 2002, he still can’t seem to find the courage to face her and tell her the simple truth: he is sorry for everything he has done to her, he loves her and he wants her back. Instead, he is again plotting how to wage war to get the children away from her and pretending he could care less about her relationship with Sam. Blair believes that Todd doesn’t love her and that he is not at all sorry for telling her Jack was dead and lying to her for all those months, so she is using Sam to mask her pain. When Todd defied the restraining order in order to see Jack on his birthday, Blair asked him to leave. He refused and taunted her. She called his bluff and Todd was arrested but it broke her heart. Blair loves Todd and Todd loves Blair but at the moment they are apart and continue to hurt each other.
There is HOPE however.
Although they have a ton of issues to work out, on the most fundamental level what Blair needs as a starting point is a simple apology from Todd that comes straight from his heart. She needs to know that he feels at least a little bit of the pain she feels. She doesn’t believe she will ever get that satisfaction but she still can’t help wanting it. “Could you cry just a little for me,” sings Faith Hill (Cry).
The End of Everything
Todd returned to Llanview after spending the summer of 2002 trapped on Hell Island with Tea and Ross only to find Blair determinedly with Sam. Todd risked his life to get back to his family but he couldn’t bring himself to apologize to Blair in a sincere, straightforward way. Instead he concocted a scheme to force her back into his orbit. He made Blair believe that the mafia had put a hit on her and mistakenly killed Suzanne, the nanny. The only way to protect Blair, Todd argued, was for her to pretend to be dead while she hid out in the penthouse with him. He insisted she stay in his bedroom with him but refused to give up his bed. She was relegated to sleeping an air mattress on the floor. The constant and close contact with Todd wore down Blair’s defenses. Still she fought to the very end to maintain the illusion that Sam was her guy. When Sam finally figured out a way for them to be alone and away from Todd for a romantic evening, however, Blair could not bring herself to sleep with Sam. She returned to Todd and admitted that she was still in love with him. She and Todd spent a blissful night together. Todd talked her into remarrying him and the ceremony was quickly arranged but an aggrieved and suspicious Sam smelled a rat and located a very much alive Suzanne just in time to drag her into the middle of the ceremony. The ceremony was halted and Blair took the children and left Todd. Todd and Blair were both devastated by the split but Todd especially sensed that this breakup might be the final one. This slideshow explores his feelings.
This is Chris Isaak’s “The End of Everything” but despite what the song says it isn’t over for T&B. At the moment, though, it must feel that way to them. IF JG/MM do right by them as a couple (I live and hope), this latest development could actually be the beginning of everything but T&B are obviously going to have to shed a few tears first and jump some more hurdles. Personally, I’m crying right along with them.
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SLIDESHOWS SUITE A SUITE B FAN FICTION